Just Say No to the Hobby Lobby

I am not crafty.

Despite my penchant for baking and occasional references to the theoretical fact that I allegedly knit, I don't craft.

This came up over the weekend when Owen mentioned we should hot glue something and I told him I didn't have a hot glue gun. His look of surprise was priceless. He assumed I was a crafty bitch simply because I bake and knit. I suppose if I met someone who baked and knitted, I'd assume the same thing too.

But I am not crafty. So there.

Here's my deal...first of all, many crafty end products are not to my aesthetic taste. Seriously. I have no use for cross stitch pillows, or crocheted kleenex box covers, or worst of all, cutesy scrapbooks. My house is junked up enough with movies, photographs, books, CDs, and kitchen implements. I don't need any extraneous ugly crap.

Secondly, many of the crafts I do have an aesthetic taste for are expensive and require things like artistic talent which I lack and highly specialized equipment I don't have space for...pottery, for instance or photography. And there are people in my life (Dayna) who are so very talented in these areas and who gift me things of this nature so I don't need to create my own.

But more importantly, I have no patience for most crafts.

Case in point: I am, in fact, the world's worst gift wrapper. Forget the bells and whistles. You're lucky if you get something from me that's not still in the plastic bag or Amazon box in which it came. If I do decide to actually wrap something, it's guaranteed there will be more tape stuck to me than the package and I am at my wit's end when it comes to ribbons.

So how does someone like me end up knitting then?

It started a couple of years ago when I spent Christmas at Jenni's house in Seattle. We were sitting around the house one snowy afternoon and Jenni offered to teach me. Since I had nothing better to do and it seemed like something I could do, I said sure.

Because you know, knitting is pretty practical. Sure, I could make things like knitted kleenex box covers, but I don't have to when there are practical things like hats, scarves, dishclothes, sweaters, handbags, socks, and penis cozies to knit.

Once I learned, I was hooked. Not because I'm particularly good at it...I'm not. I am what they call a project knitter as opposed to a process knitter. I like to do things that are fast, relatively easy, and can be done in a day or two. Otherwise I get bored and am unlikely to finish the product. Jenni, on the other hand, is a process knitter. She likes to try different patterns requiring the acquisition of new skills.

There were 2 things that really hooked me though...

1) It is VERY relaxing. I get all zenned out when I'm knitting something - especially when it's easy¹.
2) I discovered Knitta Please...



^{Image credit: from http://knittaporfavor.wordpress.com/}

These guys are so of the awesome! Knitted graffiti. Guerrilla knitters, if you please. Yay! Want! Totally my style.

So that's how I got hooked on knitting. That's why I knit.

But I'm not crafty otherwise. And anyone who accuses me of being so may find a wooden knitting needle shoved up his nose.



1: When it's not easy, I get frustrated and swear...a lot.