Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Just Say No to the Hobby Lobby

I am not crafty.

Despite my penchant for baking and occasional references to the theoretical fact that I allegedly knit, I don't craft.

This came up over the weekend when Owen mentioned we should hot glue something and I told him I didn't have a hot glue gun. His look of surprise was priceless. He assumed I was a crafty bitch simply because I bake and knit. I suppose if I met someone who baked and knitted, I'd assume the same thing too.

But I am not crafty. So there.

Here's my deal...first of all, many crafty end products are not to my aesthetic taste. Seriously. I have no use for cross stitch pillows, or crocheted kleenex box covers, or worst of all, cutesy scrapbooks. My house is junked up enough with movies, photographs, books, CDs, and kitchen implements. I don't need any extraneous ugly crap.

Secondly, many of the crafts I do have an aesthetic taste for are expensive and require things like artistic talent which I lack and highly specialized equipment I don't have space for...pottery, for instance or photography. And there are people in my life (Dayna) who are so very talented in these areas and who gift me things of this nature so I don't need to create my own.

But more importantly, I have no patience for most crafts.

Case in point: I am, in fact, the world's worst gift wrapper. Forget the bells and whistles. You're lucky if you get something from me that's not still in the plastic bag or Amazon box in which it came. If I do decide to actually wrap something, it's guaranteed there will be more tape stuck to me than the package and I am at my wit's end when it comes to ribbons.

So how does someone like me end up knitting then?

It started a couple of years ago when I spent Christmas at Jenni's house in Seattle. We were sitting around the house one snowy afternoon and Jenni offered to teach me. Since I had nothing better to do and it seemed like something I could do, I said sure.

Because you know, knitting is pretty practical. Sure, I could make things like knitted kleenex box covers, but I don't have to when there are practical things like hats, scarves, dishclothes, sweaters, handbags, socks, and penis cozies to knit.

Once I learned, I was hooked. Not because I'm particularly good at it...I'm not. I am what they call a project knitter as opposed to a process knitter. I like to do things that are fast, relatively easy, and can be done in a day or two. Otherwise I get bored and am unlikely to finish the product. Jenni, on the other hand, is a process knitter. She likes to try different patterns requiring the acquisition of new skills.

There were 2 things that really hooked me though...

1) It is VERY relaxing. I get all zenned out when I'm knitting something - especially when it's easy1.
2) I discovered Knitta Please...

Image credit: from http://knittaporfavor.wordpress.com/

These guys are so of the awesome! Knitted graffiti. Guerrilla knitters, if you please. Yay! Want! Totally my style.

So that's how I got hooked on knitting. That's why I knit.

But I'm not crafty otherwise. And anyone who accuses me of being so may find a wooden knitting needle shoved up his nose.

1: When it's not easy, I get frustrated and swear...a lot.


kk said...

I love it when I hear about people doing fun and weird stuff.... the Knitta people seem awesome!

zero hour said...

random acts of knitting...cool.

umm black hat ...size..umm bighead.

p.s i DO own a glue gun, jes sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jane,
Having read your recent post on the power of words, I know you are aware of their importance. I would ask you to consider the import of the name Knitta, Please, which references a racial slur, before you praise the group so highly. I've written pretty extensively on it at onegrandhome.com and there is a lively conversation that is ongoing and I would love to have you be a part of it.

Just Jane said...

Thank you for your comment. I do appreciate the time you've spent reading my blog and commenting. I did check out your post and the subsequent comments. While I can see your point about the phrase knitta please, I respectfully disagree.

Regardless, the point of my referencing Knitta Please in my own blog was about the practice of knit graffiti which appeals to my urban sensibilities and added to my desire to knit. It was not really about the group itself. They just happened to be the first group of its type of which I'd heard and thus were relevant to my story.