Do you want to know what the #1 worst consequence of remaining single is for me? It is that I, as in Me, as in Singular, am responsible for handling all auto maintenance and repair responsibilities.
THE highlight of my day today (thus far) was not the fact that it was Friday or that it was Payday or that it was a beautiful Indian Summer day.
No.
THE highlight of my day today (thus far) was the installation of a new windshield.
Now you're probably wondering...you of the normal auto-maintenance-and-repair-is-simply-a-routine-task-at-hand-to-be-dealt-with-swiftly-and-efficiently-while-thinking-of-other-more-pleasant-things functioning brain...why is that at all significant and blog worthy?
Because.
You know me as this fiercely independent, intelligent, put together, wickedly funny1 woman of substance. And I am...generally. But I am also utterly mechanically2 challenged. This means I have no idea whether or not a mechanic is lying to me about a potential death trap issue with my car that's going to cost me eleventy-billion dollars to repair3. Thus, I just avoid taking my car in for anything until I start feeling like perhaps I am a danger to society. So when it comes to dealing with any kind of non-routine task having to do with cars, my brain shuts completely down and it would not be unheard of to find me curled up in a little ball at the foot of my bed weeping.
In fact, I was in my early 30's before I stopped calling my mother to handle my random car issues...right, Mom?
Anyway, now I do have this little internal voice in my head during these times who calmly, quietly, rationally tells me to "stop being such a Ninny and just do it".
But I can't hear her very well because there's that other voice screaming "OH MY GOD! DID YOU HEAR THAT NOISE? WHAT IS THAT NOISE?! THIS IS A CATASTROPHE! THERE WILL BE MECHANICS AND TOW TRUCKS AND OHMYGODITHINKTHISMAYKILLME!!!"
I'm not exaggerating.
So when my windshield started cracking a few months ago...OK about 18 months ago...I was a little panicky but wasn't worried...yet. Because you see, I do know that a cracked windshield is not a critical safety issue and is an un-ticketable offense as long as your view remains unobstructed. So I waited. And waited. And waited.
But not only am I mechanically challenged, I also am one of those people who does not get pulled over for regular stuff like say speeding. No, no. I get pulled over for things like having a tail light out while driving into town from the general vicinity of the Clown's Den on a dark, deserted highway by a cop who, I'm sure, was extremely suprised to see a stone cold sober woman and not a blathering drunk, 20-something, redneck with a hard on.
Anyway, so eventually my view started to become obstructed and I finally realized I was going to have to take the bull by the horns, stop being a ninny, and just do something about it before I got pulled over on a dark, deserted highway.
Yesterday I made the call to Elite/Safelite Auto Glass. OK I went to their website, filled out their form, and then made them call me. It was a straightforward process, I gave the nice gentleman my credit card number over the phone, and then an even lovelier gentleman, Chris, came out to my work this morning and, in 45 minutes, installed a brand spanking new sparkly windshield and windshield wipers. Done. Painless. No sweat. Didn't die.
Now I can see out my windshield very well.
Of course now it just makes the pigeon-poop-damaged paint job look that much worse *sigh*.
But I will deal with that another day when I have the fortitude.
For now, I shall go enjoy the true highlight of my day...nap then wine.
1: I'm imagining this is what you think of me.
2: and spatially it turns out
3: Calculus I get. Genotyping and phenotypes? Right there with ya. Jungian theories of personality? I disagree but I understand. Car mechanics? Not so much.
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