Tidying Up November

So...I have a few odds and ends to tie up now that November's over and December is EEK! How the hell did it get to be December?!

Criminy.

Anyway!

You may recall from this post, that I had decided to try an experiment with the Stuck In My Head Song of the Day^TM and keep track of what I wake up to in my head each morning.

Well, in case you haven't been stalking my You Tube channel and laughing heartily at the playlist I created specifically for this experiment, I've also kept a list and have published it in this entry buried in the bowels of my November archive.

Clearly, I spend an awful lot of subconscious time in the 70's and nearly no time at all in the present. Seems reasonable. Except...seriously? Kansas, y'all? KANSAS?!

I and the Divine Ms. Diva - who also played along with this particular game and proved herself to be quite as er...interesting subconsciously as yours truly - will continue to keep track...at least through December or until we get bored.

Fortunately (for both you and me), December started off with the phenomenal song stylings of the talented and raw Patti Smith with her rendition of Van Morrison's Gloria from one of my all-time favorite albums Horses and not, you know, mutherfucking Kansas.



You can keep track of December's playlist here.

Now!

There's a little matter of baked goods.

For participating (and successfully) completing NaBloPoMo with me, both Divatology and Zero Hour! will be handsomely rewarded.

For managing to hang in there...sorta...kinda...but not really, Acr0nym shall also be rewarded because, well, I've already told you why.

And last, but not least, because he's my awesome brother-in-law and has the maths, I'm also going to reward Math-Matty simply because he really did keep up - skipping only 1 day. Now, if I only knew of a fabulous vegan baked good that would ship well, I'd be all set.

If you were secretly participating and would like baked goods for a successful NaBloPoMo run, send me a note/comment and we'll talk proof and delivery of said goods.

As for December, I think I mentioned to you that I'd be participating in another writing challenge - #reverb10 - and so you will see daily posts tagged as such...posts that seem to be someone asking me a question and me answering said question. That's because that's what's happening. I'm sure I'll continue to post other nonsense in addition because, well, it's what I do.

Since the #reverb10 challenge also requires me to actually Tweet shit, you can totally follow me on Twitter. Don't laugh at my novice tweeting ability. I just today learned how to make a tiny url. I felt accomplished.

WIN!

The Worms Crawl In, The Worms Crawl Out

I would just like to state, for the record, that I am relatively uncomplicated.

I mean, OK, so I wake up with this in my head on an alarmingly regular basis:



Or this:



And, you know, there was that unfortunate incident yesterday where it was randomly this:



Which, yes, I know is not in keeping with the whole lotta funk going on but hey! RATT, man. It was like...waking up in 1986 except with way better hair.

But mostly? I'm pretty easy (shutup).

I mean, I like simple pleasures. Cheese, for instance. And not even fancy cheese. Extra sharp cheddar will do this girl just fine. Wine too. Not extra sharp but, you know, under $12 a bottle and under $10 if I can get it. I like pajamas...comfortable ones...and I like hands and feet. I love music and I love to wake up to music in my head. I like to write. I like baking cakes and planning supper parties. I like to laugh a lot. I like to drink a lot. I like to kiss and hold hands and touch your face.

And I love to love. You and you and you.

What I don't particularly care for is having someone perceive me as this:

Photo courtesy of Pets Warehouse

See what I did there? Circling "Natural juices locked in the can!"? Because just...ew, man. Fucking ew. Imagine opening up THAT particular can o' worms. And what the hell kind of pet eats worms anyway? That's like watching WTF Japan, seriously videos.

Anyway!

So, yeah. I'm not a can o' worms. I'm direct, sure. I overshare¹. During certain times of the month, I can be a bit of a hormonal wreck. I am quick to laugh...and quick to cry. But mostly? Mostly I'm easy (shutup).

I like to know you like me...for a night, for awhile. I like radical honesty...transparency, if you prefer. I like knowing expectations. I like knowing boundaries. I can promise you'll hear mine.

I can be OK with pretty much anything...as long as I know about it.

And what's wormy about that?

Tell me. I'd like to know.


1: Hello, blog readers just joining us. Please take a moment to look at my various tags. With things like "Why does it all come down to bodily functions" or "My boobs are huge" or "This is why I should not be given sharp, pointy objects" I'm fairly certain you can ascertain that I am not above oversharing.

You like me! You really like me!

Ahem.

Attention. Attention? (Is this thing on? *tap tap*)

You are officially reading the blog of one of the official regular contributing writers of the Zane Lamprey DrinkingMadeEasy.com online magazine.

That's right. Yours Truly has submitted a sample of her work and been welcomed to the Zane-y fold of contributors writing online ruminations regarding liquor.

Can I get a Woo and a Hoo?

I submitted the article yesterday morning before I could second guess myself or what I'd written. And then I sat back to wait, at times feeling certain rejection was just around the proverbial corner.

I suspected by this time next week I'd be kicked to the curb.

Or worse, in the streets because the curb wouldn't have me.

As it turns out, they liked me! They really really liked me!

Not only that! The Martha Stewart of Booze theme I pitched was accepted (although I suspect Martha's name is trademarked so it won't be called that but, you know, whatever...I can be clever) and so I shall have a central theme: booze and cake. Or, more likely, booze and whatever I feel like cooking with said booze. Most often cake.

I'm nervous though.

The "pay" offered for the bi-weekly gig is exposure. Not only exposure of what I write for the magazine but exposure for this little treasure trove of the Jane.

That's not to say I don't appreciate you, my Lovely Readers (hi, Mom!), but this means there will be potentially many, many, many more of you. And there is pressure to put out consistently high quality posts and, well, EEK! Some days there isn't high quality content in me so you get whatever comes to mind...usually accompanied by a youtube video.

This is OK. I'll be OK. I'm just having a brief moment of EEK!

Stay tuned tomorrow when I will likely talk about Liberace or open relationships...possibly both. But not at the same time.


A year ago: Date...It's a 4-Letter Word

No Reward is Better than Fame & Glory

Ahem.

Pardon me, but I'm about to get all geeky fan girl on y'all in a moment so if I start to explode, hopefully there'll be enough warning for you to back away from your monitors (or smartphones) in time for you to miss the mess of my guts.

So...

You know how I have this love affair with the liquor, yes?

You also are aware I like to fancy myself a writer?

And you also know just how much I enjoy imbibing on a tasty beverage while writing (hint: I'm doing it right now)?

Ahem.

Well, today I'm cruising around on Facebook, checking out my news feed, clicking on blog and news article links I'm especially interested in, when I come across this post on the Zane Lamprey website.

For those of you too lazy to click on the link to check it out, it states that Zane Lamprey & Co. will be launching a new online magazine dedicated to - what else? - the love and education of the liquor.

But!

That's not all.

They are seeking contributors - people to...ahem...write articles for this new magazine.

Let's all just have a moment of geeky fandom silence, shall we?

*insert moment of silence here*

Now, I know some of you - especially those of you who live, oh, I don't know, say, under a rock may be thinking, "Who exactly is this Zane Lamprey character?"

Well, aside from my secret boyfriend, he just happens to be the host of Three Sheets - a television show in which Mr. Lamprey travels the world to discover local drinking customs...and get rip roaring drunk. Additionally, he just recently took a comedy act - Drinking Made Easy - on tour. An act I attempted to attend not once, but twice, and did not get to see due to the inadequacy that is our local power company, Xcel Energy.

Anyway!

I see this announcement and I immediately get red-in-the-face excited.

Why?

Because I love A) Zane Lamprey, B) drinking, and C) writing.

I may not be the most traveled woman on the planet (*fingering my passport lovingly*), but I do know two things I have going for me.

I can write.

I can drink.

OK, three things. I can also write about drinking.

I've e-mailed the contact and expressed my interest in contributing to the magazine. I've also begun drafting my sample article - an article which incorporates my other love...

Cake.

So, please. If you love me, cross your fingers, squeeze your eyes shut tight, and wish upon that first lucky star you see tonight.

Pick me. Pick me. Pick me.

Courtesy of the NY Times.com

A year ago: Blog Disclaimer

Briefly...Because I Really Really Need a Good Night's Sleep at Least Once this Week

Earlier today:

"I love how you make having cake sound like an event."

Uhm...isn't cake always an event?

I mean, it's CAKE.

I'm going to start a cake o' the month club at the request of some friends. Once a month, cake and cocktails. Not quite church of brunch but close. I mean really really close.

It is, after all, cake.

Remember When All You Needed Was a Light Bulb to Bake a Cake?

While this may not seem important to anyone but me, I would appreciate it greatly if someone would please to invent an oven that contains all its heat and does not heat up a kitchen and/or a little Grotto.

Because really?

I love to bake and most everyone loves the fruits of my labor but sheesh! It's hot in here.

And regardless of what anyone will tell you, a basement without air conditioning does get hot when it's 90° outside.

So if any of you brainy mechanically inclined rocket scientists out there care to set aside designing the next best rocket and design me an oven that will not give me heat stroke during the summer months, I'll give you cookies and cakes for life.

Or at least until the end of mine.