Friday, March 12, 2010

J.R., This is for you

A couple of weeks ago, Kris of Not a Girl, Not Yet a Wino blogged about anonymity and off-limit blog topics.

I know I've talked about this topic before a little bit but since she brought it up, it's been on my mind again and, since I posted the link to yesterday's post regarding Mississippi to Facebook - something I had not done before and was reluctant to do - I thought I would be a little more specific about what I don't talk about1 and why.

First, you may have noticed I do not talk about my work. You all know I have a job...I think that's clear...but I do not discuss the details of what I do, for whom, or mention specific individual co-workers.

I don't talk about my work because:

A) I really like my job and I would really like to keep it. I am bound by a confidentiality agreement and while many topics I would discuss are now common public knowledge, they don't always start off that way.

B) I believe strongly in the separation of personal and professional lives. I seldom socialize with my work peeps. Not because I don't like them or because I don't believe we would get along outside the workplace, but because I believe the mixing of the two are a potential recipe for drama...or at least for uncomfortable encounters in the lunchroom.

C) There are a couple of co-workers who are semi-regular readers.

Secondly, I rarely discuss anyone in my life by name - lover, family, friend, adversary - without express permission. Obviously I do not badmouth pretty much anyone...except the occasional dig on my father...but I do believe everyone deserves his or her privacy and disclosure of connections to me ought to be consensual. Additionally, sometimes I don't feel like obtaining permission because there are some people I'd rather not read my blog and thus do not want to call their attention to it. This is simply because knowing they read would potentially cause me to censor myself on topics I would otherwise talk about and that's not in line with my purpose. By the way, I often use a composite of several people when describing certain situations/beliefs/practices I want to discuss.

Third, I do not discuss the specifics of my sex life2. This ought to be for obvious reasons but, just in case, I do not want to post something that may cause me or someone I care about embarrassment - now or later.

Fourth, I do not discuss details about my health or the health of others...unless it's in relation to stupid colds/flu/hormonal crap.

Fifth, I do not discuss gossip3 unless said gossip involves me as a key player. I stick to topics that are highly relevant to my life, events and discussions that I've participated in directly, and, more importantly, topics that would cause no harm to anyone except, potentially, me.

So, if you're reading this blog and you're wondering why I don't ever talk about you, it's not because I don't care about you or think about you at all, it's because I am trying to protect us both.


1: Hard to believe there are things I don't talk about, right?

2: Yes, I do have one and no, you shan't know the details.

3: Unless it's of the celebrity variety.

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