Thursday, September 30, 2010

Notes from the Observatory

1) Wine stoppers are not meant for use with carbonated beverages...specifically beer.

I opened a bottle of stout the other night and couldn't drink it all so I put a wine stopper in it to keep it fresh. Do you want to know what happened? I'm going to tell you anyway. The pressure from the carbonation built and built and built until the wine stopper popped out of it like a the fridge...and made a huge mess.

2) Industrial strength underthings will never be attractive.

I don't know why this has to be but it is an unfortunate truth. Underthings that are slimming and smoothing - things that make my bouncin' behave - are unattractive.

Think back to Bridget Jones' Diary when she is attempting to decide between sexy underwear that will be awesome to have on in the event of lust luck and industrial strength panties that increase the chance of lust luck.

It's a tough decision.

3) Shaving is a jinx. And please do not act like you do not know what I'm talking about.

Fine. I'm convinced that shaving any part of me is a jinx on lust luck. Hence, even though I shave every week whether I need it or not, whenever I'm particularly wishing for lust luck, I won't shave...just in case. I'd rather have to explain the state of my hair than give up an opportunity.

Which is probably why I always choose the industrial strength panties...

And why I have problems with recurring lust luck.

4) Scent - at least for me - is the most powerful sense.

It is so thoroughly tied to my memories that, if I am lost in reverie, I nearly always smell the memory first.

Favorite scents?
- Coca-cola
- The "X" stuff
- And now cigars

5) The Colorado Cheese Festival is coming up.

I wonder if it will be a religious experience...wondering if I've died and gone to heaven.

6) Patience is a virtue...a virtue I do not possess.

Is there a way to learn it without asking to be reminded to have some?

7) There is no correlation between the size of the bags under my eyes and how much fun I had the night before.

A year ago: Perspective...I Haz Sum


Teresa said...

Have I told you lately how much you make me smile. I just love reading your blog.....always have. You are a wonderful writer!

Unknown said...

this truly made me laugh!