Thursday, September 16, 2010

WTF Does Man-ip-ute Even Mean?!

I'm sorry, Mom. But I'm getting ready to swear...a lot.

Yesterday, I was reading an article on a shall-remain-nameless web magazine entitled Ten Things You Should Know About Men.

Written by an alleged relationship "expert", this article laid out the most basic needs - I mean, besides beef and beer - of anyone. Not just men. Things like men need praise, respect, encouragement yadda yadda yadda.

A fourth grader who'd ever had a best friend could have written this article it was so basic.

It was the worst relationship article I believe I've ever read. But what got me, and when I say got me I mean steam coming out of my ears pissed off, aside from the recommendation to fake orgasms to boost his ego, was that this so-called relationship expert continually encouraged women to be manipulative to get what they want.

I shit you not.

These are 10 things EVERY woman needs to know so she can Man-ip-ute™ her man into getting the love she deserves and becoming the ultimate Man-ip-ulator™.

Direct fucking quote, y'all.

And whatever the hell does "Mani-ip-ute" mean anyway? I'm afraid to ask the author.



–verb (used with object), -lat·ed, -lat·ing.
1. to manage or influence skillfully, esp. in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings. negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skillfully, or deviously

In essence, this "expert" is encouraging women to act in a deceitful manner and urging her readers to act deviously to strengthen her relationship.

Can you hear the screaming that's happening in my head?

Manipulation is in the top 5 behaviors no healthy relationship should contain! It's right up there with passive-aggression, physical abuse, cheating, and deception.

This is a magazine I'd like to have some respect for as one of the contributors is a personal friend - and frequent blog commenter! - of mine. It's also a magazine to which I'll be submitting a writing sample to, hopefully, get a steady writing gig.

So it was difficult for me not to post a scathing retort to the drivel the author was spewing.

I'd like to think I'll be able to contribute something that changes the direction of the advice given to readers. I'd like to think I'll be able to help some of the readers actually develop healthy relationships.

But, I'll be honest, it gave me pause, pissed me off, and had me thinking that this was not a publication with which I'd want to be affiliated.

And then I realized, the editor is reasonable and wants a direction for the mag toward which I could contribute. I do want to help people. And I do want to give really good advice to people who may need it.

But please, oh please, oh hell the fuck no, please do not place anything I write anywhere near this stupid relationship "expert". She's the Sarah Palin of relationship advice...setting women back 50 years one article at a time.


amyjeen said...

i've never posted a comment , and i would love to add to this, but you have said it all and i am at a loss for words. a very rare thing indeed. jebus fife!

bete-noire said...

well, now i want to see this article.

Franklin Taggart said...

Spoken like a true AntiCoach :)