The Worms Crawl In, The Worms Crawl Out

I would just like to state, for the record, that I am relatively uncomplicated.

I mean, OK, so I wake up with this in my head on an alarmingly regular basis:



Or this:



And, you know, there was that unfortunate incident yesterday where it was randomly this:



Which, yes, I know is not in keeping with the whole lotta funk going on but hey! RATT, man. It was like...waking up in 1986 except with way better hair.

But mostly? I'm pretty easy (shutup).

I mean, I like simple pleasures. Cheese, for instance. And not even fancy cheese. Extra sharp cheddar will do this girl just fine. Wine too. Not extra sharp but, you know, under $12 a bottle and under $10 if I can get it. I like pajamas...comfortable ones...and I like hands and feet. I love music and I love to wake up to music in my head. I like to write. I like baking cakes and planning supper parties. I like to laugh a lot. I like to drink a lot. I like to kiss and hold hands and touch your face.

And I love to love. You and you and you.

What I don't particularly care for is having someone perceive me as this:

Photo courtesy of Pets Warehouse

See what I did there? Circling "Natural juices locked in the can!"? Because just...ew, man. Fucking ew. Imagine opening up THAT particular can o' worms. And what the hell kind of pet eats worms anyway? That's like watching WTF Japan, seriously videos.

Anyway!

So, yeah. I'm not a can o' worms. I'm direct, sure. I overshare¹. During certain times of the month, I can be a bit of a hormonal wreck. I am quick to laugh...and quick to cry. But mostly? Mostly I'm easy (shutup).

I like to know you like me...for a night, for awhile. I like radical honesty...transparency, if you prefer. I like knowing expectations. I like knowing boundaries. I can promise you'll hear mine.

I can be OK with pretty much anything...as long as I know about it.

And what's wormy about that?

Tell me. I'd like to know.


1: Hello, blog readers just joining us. Please take a moment to look at my various tags. With things like "Why does it all come down to bodily functions" or "My boobs are huge" or "This is why I should not be given sharp, pointy objects" I'm fairly certain you can ascertain that I am not above oversharing.