Thursday, November 18, 2010

Full O' Air

Funny side note at the end.
If you are just joining us1, you probably need to go back and read up on my feelings regarding auto maintenance and repair.  This post will make a lot more sense if you do.

It's OK.

I'll wait.

Done?

Great! Moving on.

Now that we've all had a refresher in Jane's Infinite Terror of Auto Maintenance and Repair, it should come as absolutely no surprise to you that, until 2 months ago, I'd never put air in a tire.

Ever.

Stop laughing.

So, a couple months back, when my tires were clearly low - even to me, Queen of Auto Avoidance - I decided I had to do something as I was, once again, rapidly becoming a danger to society. So, I did the only thing I could do...I asked Diva to do it for me *laughing*. Which, if you know me and you know Diva, that makes complete sense.

But also? If you know Diva, you will also appreciate this2 when I say that I received THAT look before she handed me over to her Maestro.

I was promptly - well...as expediently as is possible when one has had mimosas and has to sober up first - escorted down to the nearest gas station for a hands on tutorial in proper tire air pressure verification and filling technique. I even received my own tire gauge as a gift. And, even though my hands were shaking, and I ran out of air time before I was finished and had to insert an additional 75¢, I managed to get enough air in the tires under the sharp eye of the instructor, without blowing up the tire or me.

Yay! Right?

Now, over the last week or so, I'd been feeling as though perhaps my tires were a little low again. I'm going to hypothesize about this and say that's because the last time I put air in my tires it was like eleventy billion degrees outside and now it's 40. Heat expands air in the tires, amirite? So that'd make sense that, now that it's cold, the tires needed more air.

Right?

Tell me I'm right so I don't have to think about the possibility of getting new rubber shoes - let's call them car crocs - for my car. Let me live in denial for just a little while longer, k? K. Thanks.

Anyway!

So today, I did it. I went to the gas station by myself and, after drinking some diet Pepsi to give me fortitude, I pulled in at the Air machine, dug out my pressure gauge, tried to get the knobby off the top - because the pressure gauge looks an awful lot like my meat thermometer when it's in its case and so I thought maybe the gauge was in a case too, realized the knobby doesn't come off or out, got out of my car, took a deep breath, deposited my 75¢, realized I wasn't exactly sure what to do with the nozzle bits on the hose, took another deep breath, held it (because holding your breath apparently is supposed to help), and began to work my way methodically around to each croc, er, I mean shoe, er, I mean tire.

I checked each tire, filled it with some air, re-checked the tire again and then went to the next tire. I must confess I checked one of the tires twice. I kinda lost count.

And then I hung up the hose - before the first 75¢ had run out thankyouverymuch - and I drove off...

Shaking. Still scared.

But I did it.

And none of the tires exploded (yet). Neither did I.

For my next trick, maybe I'll try checking the oil.

But not today.

SIDE NOTE: When I'd completed my mission, I texted Diva to tell her of my triumph and when I tried to text "tires" predictive text thought I meant "tits". Seriously. So the text read "I just checked and put air in my tits all by myself." Luckily, I've learned from the cheese fetus incident and try to always proofread before hitting send.


1: Why does this all of a sudden feel like I'm referring to Me, Myself, and the Voices in my Head?

2: There were mimosas so I'm not clear about whether or not she actually said anything.


A year ago: I Swear It's Just This One Last Time
                  Teapots and Janes Happen
                  eHarmony Resignation
 

4 comments:

Peej said...

1. I saw the LOOK clearly in my head

2. you should have left the text the way it was, because well, you just shoulda.

3. Pro tip - you can go to grocery store fuel centers like King Soopers and Safeway and get free air. Just go to the attendant and ask them to turn the air on for you.

PS I am so proud of you. *grin*

Diva said...

Hooray! Now you can stop paying 75 cents and just come by the house - we finally moved the air compressor with attached tire-filling thingamabob (that is the actual term for it, I believe) from the bunker to the garage. Because you know why? All our tires were low due to the temperature change...... *smile*

Diva said...

P.S. While you're here I'll show you how to check your fluids. *giggle*

PATTY LEIDYS ZERO HOUR said...

(side note ) free air at the back side of Cherry Creek Mall East parking by delivery bay/near Johnny Rockets...

congrats!