Sunday, December 19, 2010 Perspective

December 16: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I met this great woman awhile ago but it wasn't until last fall that we began to really get to know one another.

And I suppose we were drawn to one another because she needed healing and I had the medicine she needed. The zen stick came out and she was often the object of several little love taps *WHAP* with it. And I must say, for the record, she took each and every tap like a champ. Even when they weren't quite so gentle...even when they were less like zen stick taps and more like velvet hammer taps. Ouch.

The fact is that I recognized just how much potential this woman's got...and she's got A LOT of potential to take an already wonderful person (and she's pretty great) and become an extraordinary and successful person.

But this isn't about her and her growth. This is about me and mine.

In my haste to help her reach her potential - and go beyond it - I forgot to give her time and space at each step to figure out what each step meant to her. I kept seeing the potential Potential POTENTIAL and failed to recognize and respect who she was as she strove toward that potential.

Until I received a little (unintentional) zen arrow of my own from the Master Zen Archer.

Appreciate the person, Jane, not the potential.

I sat back. Stung. Ouch.

Or rather...I ran head long into that stumbling block, tripped and somersaulted over it, and landed smack face down.

Whoops! Double ouch.

Luckily, my friend is also very forgiving *laugh*.

My friendship is much more relaxed and enjoyable with her now. Once I put away the zen stick and let her be herself, nudging her only occasionally when it was appropriate, I was able to actually recognize just how far she's come! And she's come so very far. I'm not even sure she knows just how far she's come.

The great thing is that she's still so young yet (early 30's) - just really beginning to explore herself and what she wants to do and be. And I get to sit front row center and watch, appreciate, cringe every once in awhile, and also? Learn from her.

I don't know which friend - the Student or the Master Zen Archer - I learned more from this year but I'm not sure I would have grown nearly as much if it hadn't been for them both.

No comments: