Monday, December 20, 2010

How I Totally Avoided Bacon This Year...No Really

December 20: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)


So yesterday, there I was, dutifully reading through all the blog entries that'd come through on my RSS feeder, drinking my coffee, enjoying the fact that I was fever-free and reveling in another 8 days of vacationing bliss, when I came across this post from Schmutzie.

Now, we like Schmutzie because Schmutzie - among other things - loves Danskos and, well, if you've ever seen me in shoes, you know I'm all about the Danskos (proud owner of 4 pairs thankyouverymuch). In fact, Schmutzie was running a contest to GIVE AWAY a pair of incredibly gorgeous Dansko boots - the contest is now over (sorry, boot lovers) - and, even though I didn't enter because while Schmutzie is an anti-cankler and I, while infinitely wise, have been cursed with cankles and couldn't possibly get the boots past my cankles, I thought this was a lovely and generous thing to do.

Plus, she takes the greatest pictures...often times of cats and food (two of my all-time favorite things...amiright?).

Aaaaaand...back to the point.

It wasn't the post itself that made me snort coffee through my nose and had me scrambling for a bit of paper to write down the blog fodder.

No. No.

It was the very first comment by this guy which reads, "What we need is a prompt about our most creative use of bacon..."


I love bacon.

So yeah, reverb10 people, where is our prompt about bacon?

And then, like a greasy beacon built entirely out of tasty bacon bits, the prompt for today blazed into my inbox and chimed its way into my heart because...ta da! Here was my opportunity to discuss the most revered of all pig parts.

Of course, those of you who know me are quite probably thinking, "Jane. I. Saw. You. Remember all those church o' brunches? You ate a ton of bacon this year. How in the world are you going to tie bacon into a prompt about avoidance?"

Two words.

Bacon Explosion.

Now, I first ran across the recipe for the bacon explosion while perusing the NY Times in my (ha ha) spare time and, ever since I read the article and saw the picture...this picture:

The Bacon Explosion - photo taken from the NY Times article linked above.

I've been desperate to try it.

Avoidance Point #1: I don't have a grill.

At the beginning of 2010 though, I was just getting to know the Divatologist and the Maestro and discovered 2 very important things:

A) They love bacon.

B) They have a grill.

Thus, the discussion centered around a bacon explosion-themed party was begun.

And talk about it, we did. A lot.

And yet, the plan we'd begun to hatch months ago, never peeked its tiny little beak from its cracked shell.


Avoidance Point #2: They travel a lot. And yet, we had how many patio wine nights? Sure. All spur of the moment. Still...Sparky McSparky Pants managed to cook us an incredible meal - including the trip to the store - on one of those nights.

Avoidance Point #3: Apparently, I was too busy attempting to pair wine with chocolate. Please. It took me about 48 hours to realize you should never ever try to pair wine with ever.

Avoidance Point #4: There is no point 4.

The fact is that the bacon explosion remains unmade because we - and by "we" I mean "I" - didn't get it done. It seemed too...too...messy and complicated and it slapped me upside the head with my oh-my-gawd-this-means-I-have-to-know-how-to-grill fears.

No. I don't know how to grill. That involves fire and gas and things - besides bacon - that explode. Plus, I bake. Isn't that enough? Shutup.

So yeah. 2010 was the Year I Avoided Bacon (but only in explosive form). 2011? Ought to be declared the Year of the Pig.

At bacon form.

Because really? Really. It's bacon. Shouldn't that be reason enough to walk upright and learn how to use (a grill) fire?


MsSparrow said...

you know we have a big ole grill over here too... Just sayin'

Brad said...

OMG, well first off, thanks for the should-out! But that thing looks absolutely divine. Seriously. How can you live with yourself for having ignored its bacony goodness all this time? Sweet jeziz, I just went and read the recipe...I have to have this. You think the fam would go for this for xmas dinner? I'm having lustful bacon thoughts... um, excuse me....

Patti said...

Too funny. Although you kinda lost me at "cats".

Bacon makes me explosive, so I avoid it. I know I'm oversharing. Loved this! So refreshing.

@GeekInHard tweeted your link and I'm glad he did.

Just Jane said...

@PJ: Hmmm...perhaps that'd do right nicely.

@Brad: Thank you for laughs! I should think any family would be grateful for such a blessed beast any time.

@Patti: I'm glad you liked it...even if I lost you at "cats". *laughing*

Roxanne said...

I am still chuckling. Now if you eliminate pancakes next year, I cannot promise I can stand behind that...

Just Jane said...

Roxanne! Eliminate pancakes? Such tomfoolery! Never.

Diva said...

Hey, you can put air in your own tires now. Time to learn how to grill meat. *grin*

dk said...

prompt #1 for Salivate '11.
Where is the recipe? I have a grill, my son has a grill, my dotter has a grill. In fact I have an outdoor grill, an indoor grill and a camping grill and my friend Kory has a turkey deepfryer if the grills don't work.
I like fire AND Bacon.
Welcome to the fatlands ;)

Just Jane said...

dk: here's the link to the original recipe