Tuesday, December 27, 2011

How Dave Winer Totally Tried to Have Me Banned From the Interwebz (KInda)

Disclaimer: Not really, he didn't. He doesn't actually know I exist...yet.

Do you know who Dave Winer is by any chance?

If you're a blogger, you probably ought to as he is known as the "forefather of blogging". His blog, Scripting News, started in 1997. To say he was an early blog-adopter is an understatement.

If you're a blogger, it's probable he had some hand - directly or indirectly - in developing the platform you use to publish.

If you're a blogger, it's probable you have people following you via RSS 2.0. He developed that product. Thanks, in large part, to him, we have feed aggregators and subscribers.

If you listen to or create podcasts, you're able to because he invented the podcasting model.

He's the blogging bomb, y'all. If ever there was one.

OK! So now that you know a little bit about who he is, I'll explain how he tried to have me banned from the interwebz (but not really).

About a month ago, Dave introduced something new he'd been testing - a community river. He asked his readers - his Community - to submit the links to their own RSS feeds so that he could add them to his river. If you go to Dave's River then, you see all the links and posts and feeds his community "tributaries" are flowing into the river.

Uh...I think. I don't actually know or understand exactly what's happening. *laughing*

My ignorance then is precisely the problem and how Dave Winer tried to have me banned from the interwebz (but not really).

See...Acr0nym and I were talking about Dave's River the other day and he thought it'd be a great idea if I submitted my feed link to the river since I am a member of the Scripting News community (albeit a very quiet one). I was ambivalent because, again, I don't really understand what it is and what it's doing.

That's probably why I really ought not be on the interwebz.

Anyway! So, yesterday, I spent a good portion of the day attempting, once again, to catch up on the rather prolific content of my feed reader. I got the number of unread posts down to about 160 when I finally had to give up and go to bed. The last post I read before throwing in the towel was an update on the river by Mr. Winer.

When I woke up this morning, my first conscious thought was, "Oh bloody hell! Dave Winer is trying to banish me from the interwebz! Stop! Don't! Call the police!"

For you see, in my sleep, I'd dreamed I submitted my link to the River but I did it wrong and I ended up flooding Dave's River with every blog post ever published from every blog I have ever read and/or follow. This mistake was punished with a stern phone call from Dave Winer himself telling me he'd called a meeting of the Interwebz Board and they had decided I wasn't allowed to be on the interwebz ever again.

None of this actually happened.

In talking it over with Acr0nym today, he explained - somewhat patiently, I might add - that realistically one man cannot actually ban me from the interwebz.

He thought that, at worst, if I were feeling particularly feisty one day and raised the ire of a group like Anonymous, they might be able to collectively jam my intertube which could keep me from accessing the interwebz for awhile but that's not exactly banishment from the realm (Note: Anonymous? Don't do that, K? I'm a nice girl, even if I am a little silly).

So I felt better.

However, Mr. Winer? Please note, I will not be submitting my feed link to your River...just in case. I don't want the potential responsibility of breaking the interwebz on my shoulders.

EDITED TO ADD: Naked Jen who I love an awful lot and who also knows Mr. Winer assures me he would not, in fact, ever ban me from the internet. She says, "Jennifer wrote: 'I love this. I can assure you that he's a truly generous and lovely man. He'd never ever ban you. He'd want you to give him everything you've got! xo"


cdnkaro said...

You got a LOL out of me this eve- thanks:) I frequently have ridiculous dreams like this, so I understand! Hope your vacation was nice:)

danneromero said...

so funny jane.. maybe you can try again when you are not feeling so overwhelmed with your dream... LOL

Just Jane said...

cdnkaro: I'm glad I gave you a laugh! My dreams have been sincerely ludicrous for the last several days. Stressed much? Uh...yeah. Vacation not withstanding lol.

daphne: HA! Perhaps I will try to get some explanation of what it is and then get instructions on how to do it. I like the idea, I just don't quite understand it in my holiday-addled brain.

Gaelyn said...

Sounds like a nightmare. Maybe I should know who this guy is.

Masked Mom said...

This River thing does sound kind of intimidating. I'm afraid to even click the link, now... ;)

Just Jane said...

Gaelyn: It WAS a nightmare (obviously literally lol). Isn't it always good to know where we come from?

MM: Don't be afraid of the link. It's not scary reading the river. It's only scary to think about how to go about contributing to it.

Lucy said...

I went over to the River and my head hurt so I understood your dream much better LOL

Anonymous said...

I've never heard of Dave Winer, but now you've got my curiosity up! :)


Just Jane said...

Y'all, Dave Winer, it turns out is a truly lovely man who not only tweeted the link to this blog but "talked" to me a little last night on Twitter. Sincerely, you should get to know at least a little about him because he is like our blogging godfather of sorts *laughing*.

threepoint14r8 said...

You are funny as hell! I love your story. Dave is really nice, he'd never banish you. He might beg you day and night to write more funny stuff like this (and if doesn't, I will!) but banish you? never.

Just Jane said...

Thanks, threepoint14r8! He really is pretty nice and I'll do my best on the funnies for you both.