Oh, please. Of course you have! Everyone has. Show me someone who says they cannot tell a lie (George Washington *wink wink* *nudge nudge*) and I'll show you a liar.
What about a white lie? Have you ever told one of those?
I'm guessing most of you tell white lies you're barely conscious of telling. Even the most forthright people I know, the most honest people I know, tell them. Usually though, the lies told are innocuous and understandable.
Most of us tell white lies to preserve the feelings of someone else. Right? Isn't that the point of a white lie? Telling someone something they want to hear to save their feelings in some way?
Now, have you ever been caught in a lie - even a white lie?
I know I have and it's pretty embarrassing, humiliating, especially when my intentions are the best. Because I know my word is only good when it is honest and lying calls my goodness into question. I don't like that. I AM good...mostly.
As I've gotten older, my tendency to tell white lies has decreased significantly. Perhaps it's because I've honed my delivery, softened it so as not to offend...much. Still...occasionally I do find myself telling a white lie and justifying it to myself by saying, "It's to preserve his/her feelings".
But is that the right thing to do?
One of the reasons I respect Peej is because Peej is THAT friend. The one you can call to come over and watch you while you try on outfits and know, 100%, that she is telling you the truth when an outfit looks great because when it doesn't she says, "Um, no, really, that is not an outfit you should ever ever everever wear even under the cover of darkness in your own home alone while dancing around, clutching a hairbrush microphone, and lip syncing to Madonna". (Yes, I do this. Shuddup. Don't judge. Madonna is awesome.)
Goddess of the universe
I strive to be like her (Peej. Not Madonna.) in my own offered fashion opinions (and that's kinda laughable given my own personal fashion style which, if you must know, is zilch on the 1-10 awesome scale). Frankly, because there is very little worse than being caught in an outfit you shouldn't even wear dead because someone you thought you could trust told you it looked good...while keeping her fingers crossed behind her back and her snickers masked in the confines of a forged coughing fit.
So then, here's another question. Is there anyone you trust implicitly to tell you the truth every single moment of every day and should you trust them? Did you need convincing or was it inherent within your relationship?
The only people I trust to tell me the absolute truth as he sees it are Lex and Acr0nym.
Not even Peej is to be 100% trusted. This is not because she's betrayed my trust but because I know everyone is fallible to the little white lie to preserve a feeling or two. I love Peej. I trust Peej. But I understand and accept that there are probably times when she's told me a white lie or two just to spare my delicate flower feelings. I suspect she feels the same about me. And that's great!
However, I trust Lex completely all the time. This took literally years to happen. I trusted him most of the time about most everything but there was one thing - the biggest thing - I didn't trust him about until we'd lived together for three years. And that was that I didn't believe he wouldn't just turn on me and leave...until he didn't.
I trust Acr0nym all the time. It took awhile to come to that although not as long as it took Lex - and maybe that's because of Lex - but it did happen. Perhaps it's because he told me - in public - something that cut through me like the sharpest of convenience store knives and I didn't die. Whatever the reason, I trust Acr0nym to always tell me the truth - most especially when it hurts.
I guess then, my question is this...who do you trust? Do you assign levels of trust? Do you find yourself completely vulnerable to no one, to just one, to several someones? Within the schema of things, do you find that your ability to white lie increases the less you trust?
The answers feel important to me tonight. Please, by all means, weigh in.