Friday, December 21, 2012

Some People Have No Patience Whatsoever


According to the Mayan calendar, the world was supposed to end today...or, at least, change dramatically somehow. Begin a new cycle. Whatever. I don't even know. All I know is that the Maya, for whatever reason, stopped recording the days of the future at 12/21/2012 which was today...I think...although they didn't figure in leap year and now I'm all confused.

Regardless, I would have been sorely inconvenienced if the world had ceased altogether today given that today was the last day I had to work before getting a respite from all things Real for the next 9. Frankly, I've been counting down the weeks and then days since Thanksgiving until the very moment the clock "chimed" 4 p.m. this afternoon (is there such a thing as clocks that chime nowadays? Would anyone under the age of 25 even understand what I mean by that?). The very moment reality could be suspended and I would be allowed to exist only in liminal time.


Luckily, the world did not end and I'm here, now, ensconced in the pajamas I may very well wear until the 9 days are up or they rot off of me. That's the only plan for the next 9 days I currently have.

Well...OK. That's not true. I will go to the grocery tomorrow to lay in 9 days' worth of supplies. I will also make my mama's clam chowder - double bacon, double clams - to take to a beloved friend who needs more comfort than most of us (and that's saying something). I will also venture out to denhac at least twice to record a little something for the all new denhac radio stream online.

I've got my first music playlist already to go and whatever happens on the Serious Business with Stringer and Jane show will happen. No matter what it will likely not be safe for work or for children whatever the topic may be. Which is how it goes with Sharp Pointy Objects too so no one should be in the least surprised.

Bottom line is the world didn't end today. And, while I'm mostly glad, a part of me is sad for flat-as-a-pancake Willy that this song doesn't yet apply...


And for those of you who are youtube averse or put off by the monotony of the electronic tones of the (albeit arguable) music of King Missile, here are the lyrics:

On the morning of the day of the Apocalypse
Willy woke up and made himself bacon and eggs and rye toast
He didn't usually eat bacon, but since today was such a special day,
He figured why not?
Like most people these days,
He had a hard time keeping his food down, but that didn't stop Willy from eating.
He enjoyed food too much.
Willy went outside, he loved to breathe fresh air, but he went outside anyway.
He decided to head across the street and visit his good friend, Bob.
When Willy got to Bob's house, he found that Bob, in utter despair,
Had shot himself in the head.
"Some people have no patience whatsoever," Willy proclaimed.
Well, I'm not going to kill myself!
I'm sticking it out. Today's a special day,
The last day of planet Earth, and I'm going to enjoy myself.
Maybe today I won't go to the health spa.
Maybe I'll just stay here and drink all of Bob's beer.
Or maybe when Bob's wife comes home, I'll take her out dancing.
Yeah, that's it! Dancing! 
I'm going home to get changed.
Willy raced out the door, into the street, not noticing the runaway steamroller
That flattened him into a pancake in less than one second.
The World would have to end without Willy.

4 comments:

Gaelyn said...

Maybe this can be the beginning of something new.

Enjoy all your days off and have fun.

Happy Holidays!

Melanie said...

Have a lovely break, lovely lady! Merry merry and happy happy. Or at least relaxed.

TangledLou said...

Oh Jane! Enjoy your 9 days! May your jammies be comfy and warm. Loving the King Missile.

nakedjen said...

it is the beginning of all things new, you know. it always is, anyway, with the solstice. because you are you and i feel like i can share these things here, i actually got the DEATH card in my tarot reading on friday. as well as BIRTH. and INTUITION. and HOPE. ahem.

anyway...it is the true dawning of the AGE OF AQUARIUS. let's just finally get this party started. because it is time, at last, for the real change in all of our lives to actually HAPPEN rather than just, you know, scamper around the edges. HERE WE GO. i know you're more than ready to enjoy this amazing ride. xo