Saturday, March 13, 2010

When the Body Says Stay In, I Should Listen

You know, yesterday, over all, was a pretty good day.

It was Friday and I had plans for a happy hour to which I was looking forward immensely followed by a dress up club night which, while I wasn't entirely sold on the idea to begin with, looked promising late in the day.

I felt...almost giddy over it.

Happy hour was lovely - a great wine bar, a scrumptious Argentinian Malbec - Decero1, good company.

I was happy...content.

After awhile, my body began to remind me I'd been awake for 16 hours and bedtime was nearing. But, because I'm an obstinate woman and because I'd committed myself to providing a ride, I ignored the warning signs and came home to shower and have a cup of strong coffee in an attempt to wake myself up.

I know better.

The night was pleasant enough to begin with...good energy, lots of pretty people to look at and talk to. I was having a mildly fun time. But then it shifted. I'm still not sure what precisely happened but I do know, due to my tiredness, I was susceptible to the winds of change...

Anxiety mounted and I was so wrapped up in it and myself and wanting to make an escape, I think I inadvertently trampled some toes.

Energy tanked. Strangeness ensued.

Where the hell was the person with whom I'd come???

I found myself standing alone in a sea of people exclaiming aloud Wow. Just...wow.

Eventually I found the person I was looking for, retrieved his bag for him, and made my way home. Numb. Confused. Exhausted.

Thinking What the hell just happened here?

As I laid awake, eyes wide open, unable to sleep2, I mulled over the night's events.

When I stumbled upon the moment in which I'd tromped toes, I was mortified. The numbness and confusion went away and all I felt was angst.

I fell asleep with it. I woke up with it.

And I'm thinking to myself Self? Next time, just stay home.



1: Which, if you ever run across it, try it. Oh my! It was fantastic.'

2: Yes, I'd in fact reached THAT point...you know the one. The one where you're so tired you can't sleep?

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