Sunday, April 18, 2010

I Must Have Flunked Boy Scouts

I suppose it wasn't technically a walk o' shame.

I mean, it wasn't like I spent the night with someone I didn't already know intimately or have to leave when I did. In truth, there wasn't even really any hanky panky...just a lot of sushi and a lot1 of wine.

But it was a late night that crept into the sunrise before we knew it.

Regardless of my bedtime though, I simply have difficulty falling back asleep once I've awakened once - especially when I'm not in my own bed. So when my eyes popped open a couple of hours later, I knew there was no hope of more sleep just then.


I didn't have my car. Which is not really that much of an issue - at least I didn't think it would be considering there was a bus stop a half block away and not just any bus stop but a bus stop whereupon the bus stopping there also stops just in front of my house.

So! Feeling confident and brilliant having even managed to scrape together bus fare2 3 to get home, I set off in the gorgeous morning wearing my now wrinkled sushi date night outfit and last night's eyeliner smudges.


Silly me thinking it would be quite that easy. For you see, at the bus stop is a great little sign indicating the bus route the stop is serviced by and next to the route number was a little sticker stating "No Sunday or Holiday Service".

But! But! But! Hey! I want to take the bus on a Sunday and isn't it about me?

Inconvenient to say the least.

So I considered my options:

1) Go back in the house and pretend I'd never left and wait for my ride to wake up
2) Walk
3) Cab.

Now I know this is going to sound ridiculous because I absolutely love spending time at this particular house. There's TiVO with any number of episodes of Archer and Three Sheets to watch. However, I don't actually know how to turn the TV on there let alone how to work the TiVO so, while the TiVO is awesome, it's not really a viable entertainment option if I'm the only one awake.

Plus, in the mornings, I'm really much more interested in doing my morning alone thing.

Additionally, staying any later wasn't an option because I had Sunday brunch plans with Tower who I'd not seen in a couple of months.

On to option 2. Now I'm not opposed to walking particularly on an unbelievably beautiful Sunday spring morning. I even had fairly decent walking shoes on. But 3 miles is a fair piece to walk in last night's smudged eyeliner remnants and wrinkled sushi date night clothes even if my panties matched my shoes. And while it wasn't technically a walk of shame in that I certainly didn't feel shameful, I am certain I would have felt conspicuous.

Cab it was then. Since I'd happened to hit the ATM the night before I even had plenty of cash for the cab ride.

So I pulled out the pink goodness that is my cell phone and dialed my go to cab company which, at that time of the morning, answered my plea for assistance right away.


Guess what the cab company needs in order to pick up?

A pick up address. An actual physical postal address. Required. No exceptions.

Which is funny since I was standing on a street smudged eyeliner remnants and last night's sushi date night clothes.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I looked at the address of the first house in sight and gave them that address.

And then I went and stood in front of that address hoping some old guy wouldn't come out and tell me to get off his lawn.

I suspect the cabbie was drunk.

But he knocked a buck off the meter when he got me home. Perhaps he felt sorry for me thinking he was complicit in my walk of shame. Or perhaps he was too drunk to read the meter thinking the 9 was an 8.

Whatever the case, I made it home. Home to coffee, kitty, pajamas, and facial scrub.

And unashamed.

1: A LOT!

2: I lost my bus pass a couple of weeks ago in the last snowstorm we had. It was

attached to my pocket and then it wasn't. *shrug*

3: It wasn't that I had no money. I had plenty of 20's and, while I

appreciate RTD (mostly), I don't care to spend $20 to ride the bus for 10 minutes.

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