Eh. It happens.
To nearly everyone, of this I am certain.
Being aware that loneliness is a state of mind and knowing that we are all alone doesn't give me immunity from experiencing the feeling every once in awhile.
It just gives me the tools I need to pull myself out of that particular pit of emptiness fairly quickly and often with relative ease.
Y'all know I don't do the typical relationship gig. I just don't. I'm not especially good at them - not over the long term...for a variety of reasons - and thus, I rarely pursue anything of the romantic sort.
Still...
There are times when I look around at "love" and think hmmm...I'd like to get me some a that.
And then...then there are weekends like this one just past.
I spent Saturday in the company of my two oldest, dearest friends and their partners. It was a night touched with the magic of Bacchus...or, at least, Bacchanalian in that there was unrestrained drunkenness, revelry, and merriment.
As Brad tucked me in that night, feeding me two aspirin and leaving me two more for the morning, and then put on Pink Floyd's The Wall and settled in to talk with my Nykki girl for just a bit longer - their respective partners having passed out - I was content. Not a fifth wheel...not at all. On the contrary, more like...the chassis.
Sunday then, we headed to brunch - mingling new friends with old - and, even though I was quite hungover despite the kindness of the aspirin1 with very little of my usual high spiritedness to keep conversations moving, it was as though everyone at the table had known each other forever.
I looked around that table, recognizing how much I loved each person sitting at it, realizing that there are even more of these incredibly special, gorgeous, lovely people in my life who were not there, and I knew.
For some reason, I am so incredibly lucky to know and love so many bright stars...bright stars who also love me.
And then I remember why I am the way I am and make the relationship choices I make...
To make room for all of you.
I love my life.
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| Photo taken from Back to Classics Virtual Art Gallery |
1: Having, in fact, leaned over to the friend on my left and whispering, "I am, officially, outta shit."
1 comment:
Glad you enjoyed your weekend! I think you were absolutely entitled to some fun after working a kajillion hours. Apparently I wasn't the only one who was hung over, but you cover it much better than I do! And you, too, are a bright star Jane!
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