Sunday, August 15, 2010

Warning Labels Tend to Be Important

This weekend kinda wore me out.

You know, what with the sitting around visiting with old and sick people while eating potato chips and s'mores.

So by the time we got back to my sister's house in Utah last night...I mean after having gone to supper and then stopping for Kirt's soft serve root beer ice cream1, I was so ready to just be in my pajamas in a bed with memory foam and snoring in a Nyquil induced slumber.

So when I was in the bathroom performing my nightly hygenetic2 ritual and realized I'd left my contact saline solution in my niece's bedroom where I was know, 20 feet away from the bathroom...I decided to just save myself the trouble and use my nephew's saline solution that was conveniently sitting out on the counter right in front of me.

Uh huh.

This morning, having forgotten all about this, I took my shower and then began to pop my contacts in my eyes.

And I got as far as the right one, barely getting it inserted when, all of a sudden, it felt as though someone had squirted acid into my eye and then lit my eye on fire.

And I'm standing there naked, trying not to scream but hoarsely whispering "Get it out, get it out, getitoutgetitoutgetitoutgetitoutgetitout!!!!"

Finally, I was able to somehow extract the offending plastic from my fiery eye, flushed myy eye with cold water, and then grabbed the bottle to see what I had, in fact, soaked my contacts in all night.

And it was for contacts. But it wasn't saline. It was cleansing solution - basically a strong soap that, when used properly3, causes a chemical reaction that eats the protein built up on the lenses and then neutralizes itself into a harmless liquid.

In a large red band around the top of the bottle is a warning that states: "Do not rinse contact lenses in ClearCare before inserting lenses into the eyes."

Uh huh.

Got it.


1: Oh my gawd yum.

2: Inside joke.

3: Which it clearly hadn't been.

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