Wednesday, December 15, 2010

For Once, Realistic

December 13: Action. When it comes to aspirations, it's not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

It depends.

What aspiration are we even talking about here? Seriously. Are we talking about those 11 things I'm attempting to get rid of or the aspiration of the word I picked for 2011 or what?


I'm cranky. No. I take that back. I'm not cranky. I'm C*R*A*N*K*EEEEE!!!! Yeah Chuck. Now! (And I expect only my brother and Dr. Jenni to get that sort of reference so don't worry if you're totally lost.)

The fact is I took a critical look at both my budget and my debt today and I realized that I didn't make as much of a dent in things as I would have liked in 2010.

Alright, fine. I made a little dimple - like the dimple in my cheek when I smile. And the reason why I smile is because, well, I didn't pay down much of my debt because I was having way too much fun.

But, Jesus. Seriously?

So I had to make a decision about 2011 and the aspirations for 2011. And, trust me, it was not a decision I particularly appreciated. But it's a fact of grown up life. There are a few things - and by things I mean bills - that need to be paid off before I think about grand adventures and tattoo removals and picking up the check time and again.

While I don't worry about money most of the time - and I know that's a big shocker because I worry about everything else down to the nub - this is ridiculous. I've been talking about getting myself entirely out of debt for, like, I don't even know how long (although if I went back and looked at the beginning of my budgetary spreadsheet, I'd know for certain which is a terrifying prospect) and yet...YET! I'm still not out of it?

I call bullshit on myself.


Next steps.

1) Accountability.

2) Budget adherence.

3) Casting aside delusions of grandeur regarding trips to Savannah (sorry, Sally), Maryland (sorry, Franny), New Zealand (sorry, Nykki).

4) Deciding between what's best for my budget instead of deciding what's best for distractions.

And on and on...I could probably get through the entire alphabet with next steps but, you know, this is a start.

And *sigh* there's no time like the present to start. Or continue. Or...whatever. I don't have the luxury of a benefactor who will die and leave me everything. It's just...

Me here. In my infinite wisdom.

Doing the best I can with what I've got.

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