Friday, December 31, 2010

Like Sands Through an Hourglass

December 29: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

2010 has been, in some ways, not one year but a string of several smaller "years" linked together by the overall title 2010.

This is me. This is my same life I was living at this time last year. Except...the first 5 months of the year look and feel very little like the last 4 months and the middle 3 months were different still. While I know I'm still Me, in my infinite wisdom, I can't help wondering...

How did I get here?

Because there was continuity.

Each moment drifted and melted into the next...flowing. So much so that there were times - not unusual for someone who does the kind of work I do - when I wasn't quite sure what day or even what month it was without the aid of my google calendar.

Certainly the year was peppered with significant events - experiences I enjoyed, looked forward to, cried over - but, as I sit here this morning pondering defining moments, there were only 2 truly jarring moments I can recall that I knew instantly would affect and change my life...possibly significantly.

In the early morning hours of September 19 - long before the sun rose - a single text message.

Surreal. Confused. Pleased. Scared. Excited.

And then, about noon on October 1 as I worked from home, another text message in 2 parts.

Surreal. Horrified. Sad.

Those 2 moments are part of my carryforward balance into 2011. They are unresolved, unreconciled items. For once, I know what today is...the last day of the year that was 2010. And I know, no matter what happens in 2011, those 2 moments have played a part in firing it off.

Not in a big, exciting, explosive way. But in the way all the rest of the moments a flow.

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