Sunday, December 26, 2010

Take My Picture. Cuz I Won't Remember.

December 25: Photo - a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

I don't like having my picture taken.

If I can help it, I will not allow it to happen. It's...whatever. A long story. A story I don't share...pretty much ever. Suffice it to say, there aren't many pictures to "sift" through from 2010.

But there is that I like. You've all seen at least my half of it before. I've posted it before.

Here it is in its entirety...

Coco Pants and Me

My beloved niece, Coco Pants, snapped this picture of the two of us in the Wyoming backyard of my aunt during our family reunion in August.

I love this picture.

First, I love her. My first born niece. She's so beautiful, it hurts to look at her. And me, snuggled up against her. She was warm that day and I? I was cold with the Wyoming early evening chill. Funny, Wyoming is, like that. It's chilly at nearly 7,000 feet...even in summer.

I love that every single one of my prematurely gray hairs is prominent here. I found my first gray hair when I was 10. Or rather, a 4th grade classmate of mine did on the playground one day. For many years I attempted to hide them. Now? I embrace them. They are me. They are also my granny who went completely white by the time she was in her mid-40's. Besides, my hairstylist, Sarah, refuses to color them for me. She says, "Your gray is gorgeous! Own it!" So I do.

I love the blue-ness of my eyes. Quite unlike the blue of my dad or of Dr. Jenni. Blue. And yet, unlike the blue of anyone else in my family. Them...but distinctly me.

I love the secret smile. The secrets I carry of you...and you...and you.

The dark circles under my eyes are there...just a little...just enough to indicate the worry I carry...for you...and you...and you.

And just...the look in my eyes. The Knowing is totally there. And yet, innocent...naive. The look that says, "I'm vulnerable. And I'm OK with that." The look that says I've hurt before, I'll hurt again, but it's OK. Really. It is. I promise. We'll do what we need to do...for you.

I love me. Don't you?

Don't answer that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK i will agree with the blue-ness... paulw