Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Have You Seen Kyle?

This is my friend, Kyle:

Kyle on Halloween as Tony Wonder from Arrested Development...and my boob

Please note the placement of "Tony's" hand as this is crucial in establishing just how well we know each other (except you, Mom. Hi! Really. You don't need to know).

I've known Kyle for about a year and half or so now. And he's fabulous! He's funny, quirky, cute, and totally crafty in a great metro-sexual (does anyone even use that term anymore???) sort of way. I <3 him...a lot.

And he <3's me too...of this, I am certain.

So, recently, I ran into Kyle at our favorite night club and spent a good portion of the evening chatting with him. It came to light that his roommate was in attendance with him and, as circumstance would have it, I had never met her so I asked to be introduced.


Now, in his defense, Kyle had drunk a couple of cocktails (4) prior to the introduction. However, he was not swaying or even slurring his words yet...I don't think. But, as you may know, one's ability to distinguish whether or not someone is slurring their words is greatly diminished as one's own capacity to not slur diminishes.

The introduction went a little something like this:

Kyle: "This is [redacted]! [Redacted]? This is... ... ..."

Kyle turned and looked at me full on for what felt like several minutes and you could see in his eyes a total, panicked blankness as to who I was precisely. You could plainly see that he knew he ought to know my name but no name was forthcoming...at all...whatsoever.

And I stood there waiting for him to come to it figuring he would come to it...eventually. Because, you know, it's not like he had never met me before, hadn't fondled my boob before, hadn't sent me text messages with pictures of him with a pore minimizing mask on before.

And yet, nothing. He drew a total and complete blank.

I finally let him off the hook and introduced myself. He was mortified.

So mortified, in fact, that, today, I received a poem via e-mail from him entitled "an appology" [sic]:

people would say its insane
to draw a blank on a name such as Jane
but low and behold,
my mind must be old
some times my brain is my bane

Take note, Boys. This is how an apology is done...by issuing an original apologetic poem. Walt Whitman, it is not. It doesn't have to be. Because seriously? It made me laugh. And that's all that should happen...for any girl who ought to receive a heart-felt apology.

PS When I told Kyle this was going in the blog? He responded, "i consider it only proper as my penance."

No, Honey. Penance would be me posting the pore minimizing mask photo on the blog. Instead, everyone gets to see you fondling my breast. \0/

Let the punishment fit the crime.


Teresa said...


Love the label too ;)

Good job Kyle on the apology!

MsSparrow said...

Kyle would probably post the pore minimizing photo himself. That boy is pretty awesome. I loves the Kyle