Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Post-Fever Interlude

Something's happening.

It's frustrating sometimes not to have license to talk about something that, in part, belongs to me. But little of what I say here is just my story. And so, even though most of what I talk about is about me, it also includes stories about a variety of colorful characters. Usually, it's easy to filter the inappropriate, the private, and that which shall remain unnamed - to protect those who need or want protection and/or privacy.

And then there are times, like now, when something's happening, something that feels huge, and I'm rendered speechless...not by the flu but by self-restraint. I don't know what to filter, what's not mine to speak freely of, and so, instead, I filter nearly everything.

My relationship with Lex continues to astound me in ways I'd never thought possible. Every time I think we've reached the pinnacle - or the depths - of what we're meant to be to one another, we peel back another layer, talk our way, feel our way, through the newness of it and then relax into it...get easing back into a hot bubble bath.

My heart feels so big because of him.

I wonder how many of you who know me post-Lex would have recognized me pre-Lex?

Was there a pre-Lex? I don't remember now. Maybe I don't want to remember *laugh*...*smile*...*tear up*. Forgive me. I've had a fever.

But truly...if it weren't for him, there wouldn't be room for, wait...there wouldn't be what there is of me to give to the rest of you. I started the work...he's helping me continue it. I'm lucky. That's all.

The luckiest girl in the world.

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