Sunday, May 08, 2011

Come ON. You Know You Want To.

I bowl.

That's right. I bowl. And I'm unashamed.

Well OK, in all honesty, I didn't grow up bowling and I've not bowled in a couple of years but, for awhile, I even...

Bowled (badly). On. A. (Sanctioned I'm not shitting you) League.

That's right.

Laugh if you need to. I'll wait. You done? Good.

It all started with my sister's best friend since high school calling me and asking me to be their 4th Sugar Bowl for a mixed nuts league. And I was all like, " know I've only bowled like 6 times in my entire life, right?" She didn't seem to care.

So...on the first night of the league, during the first game, I bowled...38.

Go on. Laugh. I'll wait. You done? Good.

Regardless, I loved every minute of it. I mean, what's not to love? It's one of the most made fun of sports around - I mean, besides NASCAR - with funky shoes and matching shirts. Plus? They serve beer. And grilled cheese. And there's rarely any sweating involved.

Because I bowled such a low score that first game, I had one HELLUVA handicap and all I really had to do was just bowl better than a 38 the rest of the season. I can't remember for certain but I think that first season we took 3rd in the league. Heh.

With our winnings, I bought myself my own bowling ball with finger holes drilled for the lefty I am (at least, when I bowl) and went on to bowl a summer fun league and then returned to the mixed nuts league the following year where I received the league distinction award of "Most Improved Bowler". Duh. I had nowhere to go but up.

My bowling bag, ball, AND shoes (shoes purchased at K-Mart heh)

But I've only bowled once since then - once in the last 5 years.

And I know it sounds crazy - although, I'm kinda batshit crazy - I miss it. Like...a lot. I'm serious!

Bowling' It's white trash Wyoming. It's beer and balls and stalker men with mullets in wacky shirts who hit on you while serenading you with country songs or 80's hair band songs (even when you're clearly a lesbian) while trying to get you to go home with them from THE BOWLING ALLEY. It's teased hair and 50's throwbacks and jukeboxes full of The Who's Squeeze Box.

You think I"m lying? Heh.

So last night. I found my bag and ball and shoes. And? And I wanna bowl. On a league.

Who's with me? Come on! Summer leagues are starting up.

Don't you wanna score tonight?

The movie Michelle Pfeiffer wishes and dreams you'd forget ever existed.


Teresa said...

I scored a whopping 136 a few weeks ago when I attended a work bowling event. I think that's the highest score I've ever had.

I have never bowled on a league.

Just Jane said...

Teresa: That may be the highest I ever scored and that only once *laugh*.