Sunday, May 08, 2011

It's Good But It Ain't THAT Good

The Divatologist often speaks of the embarrassment of riches we have here in Denver.

Typically, she's talking about the quantity of goth club nights there are each and every week - which is to say, if you want to get your "goth" on, you've got 5 of 7 nights to choose from any given week. That's not to mention the monthly Deathwish night and other special events like the Onyx Reunion night this Friday just past.

Additionally, we've got an astonishing number of venues for every type of show under the sun - and not over-the-top 80's flashback stadium shows either - although, if you want a stadium show, we've got what I think is the most spectacular place for it in the world in the form of Redrocks Amphitheater. But what I'm talking about is intimate venues for fans to be up close and personal with some of the best the music world has to offer.

But it's not just music and clubbing and nightlife in general.

This morning, as I was driving down Colorado Blvd. toward my favorite grocery - one of only a handful with a liquor store inside - I passed by the masses standing in front of the local brunch eatery, Snooze, waiting to get a table. Likely waiting for 2 hours...or more.

And I thought to myself, "Fools."

Now, I suspect you're thinking that the wait surely can't be THAT long and, if it is, it's because it's Mother's Day - the brunchiest day of the year. And to you I must say no. The wait is actually that long. I know. Because the one time I went to Snooze? I waited over 2 hours for a table on a drizzly Saturday morning.

And while I enjoy a great brunch, there is no brunch worth wasting 2 hours of my precious Saturday before I even get seated. I wouldn't even wait for a Lucile's biscuit for two hours, People, and that's saying something. Plus, Snooze? Isn't the best in town.

The fact is Denver is jam-packed full of amazing eateries - for breakfast, brunch, lunch, lupper, happy hour, supper, and the late night ohmygawd-I'm-drunk-and-starving-and-that's-probably-why-I'm-so-drunk meal. Sure, you sometimes do have to wait for a table. Sometimes, you might have to wait 30-40 minutes. But nothing, not even bacon, is worth waiting 2 hours.

Luckily, I know the spots to go to get some of the best brunch in town. I know who takes reservations, who doesn't, what wait times might be, best times to go, whose got the cheapest bottomless mimosas in town, whose got the spiciest bloody mary in town, approximate prices, and whose usually got the best service.

And I'm not telling. Because if I do? Then the sheep waiting so patiently to graze at Snooze will follow. And then what am I left with? Snooze. Which isn't a bad place. It just isn't all that...and a bag of bacon.

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