Monday, May 30, 2011

I'm Here

I sat down to write tonight, topic at the ready, opening line composed in my head. I opened my "mouth" and nothing came out. At least, nothing having to do with what I'd planned to say.

It's been a lovely 3-day weekend - my second in a row. Time to myself, time with friends, a house party as well as a small gathering of people I've not spent nearly enough time with recently.

I accomplished little on my chores list - a couple of loads of laundry, the grocery shopping, a baked treat for Lex. The bathroom remains filthy and there are dishes to be done. But I'm OK with that...for once. I'm not expecting company over the next few days and there will be time for that stuff now that the Weekend Fun Therapy is through.

There are all kinds of therapy. I've tried many of them. Religion, talk, massage, pain, etc and so forth. None of them are as good as plain old laugh therapy with friends. They say laughter is the best medicine. I disagree. Friends are the best medicine. I've had a healthy dose of a variety of friend therapy recently. I'm lucky. Lucky enough to be able to ask. Lucky enough to have people in my life who'll take that call. Maybe because they know I'll re-pay it in spades.

I've been reminded, once again, that we see what we want to see. Or, rather, we see the raw data through layers upon layers of past experience filters and draw unfounded conclusions through warped reality. The internet makes that even worse as we don't get the whole picture - all the raw data isn't available - only snippets. Sometimes those snippets hurt when they shouldn't because there is no context for them. Sometimes, we might think we know or understand what's going on when, even though the empirical evidence we've collected and mashed through those filters suggests we're right, we don't really know what's going on.

Locus of control. <-note to self

It's quiet here with me tonight. Not peaceful. But quiet. Relaxed. It's a welcome change.

We may not get what we want. But we usually find ourselves getting what we need...exactly when we need it.

I'm here. Where I wanna be. 7,000 miles from infinity. No one knows where I am. It's quiet here with me. I'm filling in the spaces where the killings used to be. There's no phone. And no way home. Been a long time come late. Been a long time. I'm here. Where I wanna be. 7,000 miles from infinity. No one knows where I am...but me. - Meryn Cadell

No comments: