Wednesday, December 28, 2011

15 Minutes Can Sometimes Feel Like An Eternity

I just need to do this now or I won't get it done. Like last week's prompt about "Wonder". I wonder a lot of things...mostly of the "What If" variety and I just didn't want to go down that path because it leads to mayhem and chaos in my life.

Along those lines, today is "Good Riddance Day". I don't know anything about it and I can't stop to look it up now because I'm being watched - er, I mean, timed. All I know is that I think I'm supposed to be letting go of all the shitty parts of my memories that hold me back. Uh, I think. Unfortunately, I have a lot of memories that are kinda crap and to forget them all would be like Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. On second thought, that might be kind of cool.

I'd kinda like a cigarette right now.

I need to write a blog post about Geogypsy's New Year's Eve party. Seriously! Why haven't I written about that yet? I want everyone to participate in it and it's going to take everyone time to figure out outfits, accessories, dates, dances, and stuff. Sheesh. I'll do that post next I think. I'm running out of time.

I love naked Jane time. It's naked Jane time for the next 3-ish days. Lex has gone off to visit family and I get the house and the cat all to myself. He hasn't been gone overnight in uh...2 years, I think. Maybe longer. Something like that. I sincerely needed this but how can I tell him to go away when he A) doesn't have anywhere really to go and B) has every right to be here? It's a weird thing, I know, this need to have excessive alone time. Is it excessive to want an overnight to myself? I don't know. All I do know is that I've wanted some home time just for me when I can eat cheese for supper, drink wine until bed, and not have anyone there to ask me questions or interrupt my process. I hope I get some long overdue writing done.

15 minutes can be a painfully long time.

I think I'm going crazy. This morning, in the shower, I heard myself tell myself that I only had "6 more days". 6 more days of what? I have no idea. That particular number means nothing I could ascertain. My brain is constantly spewing out random numbers. I have this weird mental checklist I go through of numbers...3 more days to the weekend, 3 more weeks to the next vacation, 2 days until pay day. That's just days. Then it's dollars. $534 and that one bill is paid off completely. 3 more weeks and I'll have that $534 and that bill will be paid off completely. 13 more months and all the bills will be paid off completely. How much have I managed to pay off since January? $4000? Almost $5000? Something like that. I'll have to check my math later when I'm not naked and in the shower and have access to a calculator and, you know, the actual numbers.

I need to get that post about Christmas done too. It took such a weird turn just as I thought I was wrapping it up. What's OK to say? What should I keep to myself? Why was I so irritated and growly about it? I hate being that snide about stuff that's long past. Bah. Edit? Delete? The first part was certainly interesting...at least to me. How is it that my father can still get that far under my skin? Sincerely, Old Man? I don't care how old you are, it is unacceptable to just sit there with a fcuking sarcastic grin on your face when you are asked time and again to help and then declare that you are helping by sitting on your fat ass, holding your water glass and snacking on cheese. Man oh man. I don't think I'm going to be able to let that go...

Even if it is Good Riddance Day.



This post was written in response to the prompt for GBE2 as described below:
"This week, we’re doing something a little different. Instead of a word or picture prompt, we’ll be free writing. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, it is exactly what it sounds like. You sit down and write whatever comes into your mind for 15 straight minutes. The goal is not to write a story, article, or even anything coherent.

It’s a word purge. A stream of consciousness babble-fest, and it’s a wonderful way to unleash your creativity. Will what you write be crap? Almost certainly. Will the resulting paragraphs (if there are even paragraphs) be dull, repetitive, gripe-o-ramas, list-o-worries, and inventories of what’s been gnawing at you lately? Yep. When you are done, will you look at what you’ve written and decide that it’s simply too revealing to publish? Very likely.

In fact, that’s the hope..."

14 comments:

Artful Communication - k~ said...

Nicely done... it looks like your purging went well! :-)

Word Nerd said...

You're a good word purger, but then again, you're a good everything. Oh, and I have to ask. Does three days of naked Jane time mean that you walk around naked for three days or that you could walk around naked or those three days, if the urge hit you?

S. Stauss said...

Excellent purge. What an odd thing to say. That took me back 20+ years. HA! I want 3 days of naked time. I totally relate to the so far up under your skin it may never come out thing. You have emboldened me to perhaps do this exercise. I've been avoiding it (and consequently, Word Nerd. Sorry WN!) because I'm afraid of what might fall out. I do the math thing, too. When I'm finally fully senile, I think I will just be spouting random numbers and words that feel good in my mouth.
I adore you. That's kind of weird, I know. But I really do.

Lucy said...

Wow, way to go and no one would want me to purge for 15 minutes, no one!!!

Enjoy your alone time! I totally understand your need for it, I encourage everyone to do it.

I love that song, I want to get it on my iPod, I keep forgetting to add it.

Gaelyn said...

Excellent purge. Know what you mean about needed some naked time. Maybe after the Ball. OMG, I don't have a thing to wear!

danneromero said...

great purging, naked jane... tee-hee.

Nini Kahler said...

15 minutes of purging? Ummm... Let me think if I could do that. LOL! Definitely an idea to give some thought to. :)
~Virginia

Gene Pool Diva said...

This nudie butt neads pajamas, but you all have a great time.
Don't you feel lighter when you purge?

Melanie said...

I have to have my alone time. My hubbie likes his alone time, too, (although maybe a little less than I do) so that works out well.

Have you ever met anyone who hates to be alone? I have, and I do not understand how someone can feel that way. Very puzzling to me.

Like S. Stauss said, you are adorable!

Melanie said...

P.S. Just read your FAQs and laughing.
I tried writing some FAQ's for myself, but they came out quite bitter. May need some revision so not to drive readers away!

Joyce Lansky said...

Good word purge. I hope you enjoy/enjoyed alone time. Thanks for stopping by.

Joyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/12/wordless-wednesday-pampered-chef.html

Masked Mom said...

1. I'm jealous of your streaminess. I have a hard time spilling stuff for reasons probably related to what I told cdnkaro on a post of hers a little while ago--if I write stuff down, it somehow makes it more real, so I need to have strict control over what I put on the page or screen even if I'm theoretically the only one who will see it.

2. My dad makes me OUT OF MY MIND with apparently little to no effort on his own part. So, not sure what your history there is, but you've got my sympathy/empathy.

3. As a chronic insomniac, the numbers that really get to me are the ones on the digital clock. I will look at them at, say, 2:47 a.m. and try to decipher what they MEAN. Like is that a message from someone, somewhere? Am I go to DIE at that time on some later date? Did I DIE at that time in a previous life? Did someone get murdered in my house at that time a long time ago? Should I play the lottery with those numbers? If yes, how? 2-4-5 or 24-5 or 2-45 or...

4. Hey, maybe I CAN stream, after all...

Just Jane said...

WN: HA! It means my energy is completely naked and unimpacted by anyone else's. But yes, it also means if I wanted to walk around physically naked, I could :).

Stauss: You will also spout words like sarsparilly while wearing dungarees! You are adored as well.

Gaelyn: I can't wait to see what outfit you choose!

Daphne: Thanks! Hee hee

Virginia: Of course you can! And you don't have to post it if you don't want to.

Gene Pool Diva: I do love a comfy set of pajamas :). It does feel good to purge. I ought to do it more often.

Michael said...

A very painful long time!

Cheese for supper, really? Just cheese? What kind of cheese?

(Ha! The word verification thing is "conan" like it knows I'm a barbarian!)