Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Other Woman

There comes a time in every non-wife's non-marriage(s) when it dawns on her that she is not the only woman in the lives of her guys.


Such is the realization I've had this week when not one but two - TWO! - of the three non-husbands have been obsessing over another woman...spending most of their free time with her, buying her luxurious accessories, and talking non-stop of their lusty, busty mistress.

This new infatuation became painfully obvious last Wednesday when Acr0nym, for the first (and possibly last) time joined Spux and me for our weekly Wednesday coffee klatch during which all either of them could talk about was their shared new muse. I tried multiple times to change the subject - one in which I could participate - only to be shooshed (rudely, I might add) again and again.

Finally, I pouted. There might have been some expressions of hurt feelings. There were apologies.


Nearly every evening since then, one or the other or both have paid clandestine visits to this hussy, making sweet sweet loving improvements to her life while I sit at home - alone - thinking to myself...


Her name isn't Marcia.

It's Denhac.

Denhac Denhac Denhac!

Denhac is the local hackerspace. Spux sits on the Board and is Art Director for the space. Acr0nym, due to a new found burst of creative energy, has been investing more and more of his time wanting to apply his DIY mad skills to making it more user friendly and, dare I say it, the hacker context, of course (I mean, there aren't any floral prints or Ming vases...yet).

denhac awhile ago - it admittedly looks better - and way less white - now (shamelessly stolen from the denhac  photo gallery)
And, while I'm excited that they've both found enthusiasm to create a space even I feel comfortable visiting, I'm awfully tired of hearing about and being relegated to the back seat (hope she likes those heated seats in the Intrepid, Acr0nym pfffft) for this pervasive presence in my life.

And so, I say, in my whiniest of whines, are you guys DONE yet? Can we go now? How many more miles?

Cuz you're supposed to be paying attention to meeeeeeeee!


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Love you Sweet Jane! You can bitch to me anytime... IM me whenever. I'll be there to give you attention. :)

Gaelyn said...

Feeling a little left out huh. What happened to all those other amazing friends?

Celeste Neumann said...
Männer Sind Schweine
by Die Ärzte
Hello, my darling, I love you!
You're the only one for me!
I find all the others stupid,
So that's why I'm courting you.
You are so different, very special,
I notice that stuff quickly.
Now get undressed and hop on the bed,
because I'm soooo in love with you.
Soon it'll be dark, soon it will be nighttime,
and a word of caution is in order:
Men are pigs.
Do not trust them not, my child.
They all want one thing,
because men are just that way.
A man feels like a man,
only when he can get your pants.
He'll lie 'til the rafters bend,
Just to get you in bed.
And then the next morning
He does't even remember your name.
Ruthless and unrestrained,
Feelings are completely foreign to him.
For him, love is the same seed loss.
Girl, don't you forget it!
Men are pigs,
Don't even get me started.
Exceptions, there's unfortunately none.
In every man there is inside still a pig.
Men are pigs.
Don't believe a word they tell you.
They'll swear you eternal true love
and then the next morning they are gone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah ...
(Film-text display:
"Men? These hairy beasts?
That always have to touch you? And all they want is just the
aame thing from a girl! ")
And if you still make the mistake
and you laugh yourself into a husband,
Your rose cavalier will soon mutate
into a beast right after the wedding.
But he'll soon reveal his true self,
unshaven and quite disgusting:
Drinking beer watching television, and getting fat fast
and burps and farts in bed
- Then you have King Kong for a husband,
so I tell you, please, always remember:
Men are pigs.
(Chorus: Lousy pigs pigs ... nasty ...
fat pigs ... stupid pigs)
Don't trust them, my child.
They all want the same thing,
for true love, they're just too blind.
Men are rats.
(Chorus: Cop pigs ... pigs ... mean swine)
Approach them with caution.
They want to screw everything
that isn't up a tree by the count of 3.
Men are pigs
(Chorus: Nazi pigs ... pigs ... blind horny pigs)
Don't even get me started.
Exceptions, there's unfortunately none,
but inside every man there's a pig.
Men are cars, but without the spare wheel.
(Chorus: We do not want ... cop pigs)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lucy said...

Oh, I totally feel for you,my husband knows better, I am always the center of his attention (yeah,right LOL) but he does pay when I am ignore for too long!!

Anonymous said...

The nerve! If the other woman had boobs and hips and big pouty lips, at least you could compete.

PS: I want to write something titled, "Boobs and Hips and Big Pouty Lips" now.

Deb Stevens said...

Obviously, Word Nerd, something titled that would be amazing. You should definitely write it.

Jane, it's just Spring, eh? Twitterpation and all that? Maybe. Or maybe that's just another thing we tell ourselves to get through this little bit of time so life can move on.

Meanwhile, your faceless blog fans love you, we do, especially when you include clips from old TV shows that are so, so classic.

Michael J. said...

Please do write Ms Word! Jane Jane.........being of the male species I can attest to the fact that whether football or computers or the guys or the gym or the car - SOMETHING will always be front and center and it won't always be you. Pity actually - I consider them rather blind to the fact that all their hardware and software can't hold a candle to you.

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Have you tried twirling your hair, batting your eyelids and dropping your handkerchief? ;)

cdnkaro said...

Oh my goodness, someone who knows die Aerzte? All sorts of awesome memories just came flooding back, and I'm singing that song German. That just made my day:)

p.s. how dare they!

Masked Mom said...

This is slightly off topic, but regarding that Brady Bunch clip. Years ago, when he was doing the promotional crap for the movie Independence Day (the alien invasion movie with Will Smith), I caught Harry Connick, Jr. on one of the late-night talk shows and he did a PERFECT imitation of the "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!" thing except he said, "Martians! Martians! Martians!" I'm sure it doesn't translate terribly well into a comment, but I never think about Marcia or any of the rest of the Bradys without thinking of Harry now.