KHAAAAAAAAN!

Have you ever been to a Con? 

For those of you who have no idea what I mean, a "con" is a convention centered around some kind of geekery...Comic-Con, Dragon*Con, and any number of other cons that cater to the masses of all manner of geeks everywhere. There are cons for anime, comics, gamers, Bronies (people - mostly grown men - who are into My Little Pony in a BIG way and no, I'm totally not making that shit up), BDSM, Cosplay, Star Trek...if it can be geeked out on, there's a con for it. 

Is there a Rule 34 equivalent to cons??? I digress.

I've been to a couple of cons held annually in Denver. 1,000+ attendees, relatively small and chill, and a lot of fun.

But I've never been to a large con ever. And I've wanted to go to two for a long time...desperately.

Dragon*Con and...

DEF CON.

Unfortunately, I will likely never get to go to Dragon*Con. Not unless something drastically changes with my employment. As much as I've examined my options at every angle for a month of Sundays, the timing of that particular con sucks. No ifs, ands, or buts.

But DEF CON? That is another matter all together.

Now...if you don't know what DEF CON is - and I'm guessing most of you probably don't but didn't want to click through on the link because you are absolutely riveted by me - DEF CON is one of the longest, continuously running, largest hacker conventions in the world. 

Oh yes. I said it. Hackers.

It's actually nothing like this. There is a whole lot more liquor and a whole lot less rollerskating, for one (or is it two??? And please, Jeebus, don't let TC on rollerskates). And uh...a whole lot less spinning (that's not liquor-induced).

It's (hacker) not a dirty word, you know, no matter what mainstream media would have you believe. Frankly, there are an awful lot of hackers out there who are protecting YOU from the security fallacies committed by your banks, your schools, your employers, yourselves.

Don't believe me?

Meet The Tiger Team...a few of my friends - yes, they really are that cool, brilliant, and adorable in person. (If you want more of Nickerson and Ryan, check out their podcast, Exotic Liability.)

Don't think the FBI, CIA, and Homeland Security recruit the DEF CON attendees?

Think again.

Anyway!

I've wanted to go to DEF CON for a long time. And this year, THIS YEAR, especially, I wanted to go because it is DEF CON XX - 20 years! - 20 since it began. There is sure to be an epic number of attendees and ultimate shenanigans.

So, yesterday, on tenterhooks, I went to my boss - terrified she'd say no - to ask for the time off.

She immediately took out her (paper) calendar and marked off my vacation request stating, "Really, there isn't a better time for you to be gone."

My thoughts exactly.

So...

Guess who has two thumbs and is going to DEF CON 20?

THIS girl!

I KNOW! Right?!

Not only that but, because of her connections, guess who has two thumbs and is in the position - through her, frankly, extraordinary connections - of Goon Squading the con? Something seriously out-of-con-geekery-trol?

THIS girl!

Yeah.

I've got my riding crop at the ready.

Heading toward DEF CON. BRB.

DEF...KHAAAAAAAAAN!