Wednesday, March 06, 2013

It's Probably Best Not to Ask

Have you ever had one of those nights where you're just lying there, drifting off to sleep, and slowly become aware that you're counting?

OK but have you then come to realize you aren't counting sheep or butterflies or LOLcats but you are, instead, counting (and naming) the kids from Eight Is Enough?

OK but have you then found yourself wide awake because dammit! You've only managed to name 7 and who was the 8th kid? Not Nicholas. No. You got him right off the bat. And not David or Tommy or Mary or Elizabeth. And not Joanie either. Susan took some time but you got to her eventually because you remembered she'd been married to Meryl the Pearl and who could forget Meryl the Pearl?!

Clearly I can't. 

OK but have you then started naming the spouses and the actors and plot lines of various episodes and even though you STILL can't remember the name of that 8th kid you are now playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Willie Aames? 

And then, just about the time you are trying to decide whether or not you're going to admit you are now fully awake and obsessing by going through all the trouble of reaching over to grab your phone so you can google the cast of Eight Is Enough or just wait, lying there sleeplessly until the morning, and risk forgetting that you've got this burning first world problem to solve, you sit up in bed, snap your fingers, and exclaim...

NANCY!!! Blond, ditzy, beauty pageant contestant Nancy!

Which startles the cat who was, until then, sleeping soundly next to your head and sends him skittering off in the direction of a quieter place to get some sleep uninterrupted by outbursts from a crazy 80's-pop-culture-obsessing lady. Which is too bad really because once the mystery was solved you were able to fall almost immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep?

Well...have you?


I guess it's just me then.


Frances D said...

I thought I was only one who did such things. Waving at you wildly from NYC.

Masked Mom said...

I've not done this exact thing, but I've done many things frighteningly close including the time (which I blogged about) when I was kept awake by trying to figure out the last name of the girl who sat behind me in 7th grade English--even though we hadn't been friends and I had NO REASON to need to know that name AT ALL.

Sometimes my brain feels like one of those yippy little dogs who was fed sugar by the bowlful.