Friday, July 19, 2013

Light. Tunnel. End. Whew.

I own a house.

As of 9:30 this morning, the paperwork had been signed, checks to all but me were distributed, I had keys and garage door openers and a neat little folder with my copies of the paperwork that would suggest someone - a bunch of someones - had examined every square inch of my financial life and found me to be grown up enough to carry many many many many many thousands of dollars worth of debt.

The closing was a lot of fun! I'm not joking. My agent, the seller, the seller's agent, and I laughed and giggled and hooted throughout the entire process. So much so that the closer, as she was leaving, said this was the most fun closing she'd ever had the pleasure to attend. At the end, the seller said, "OK. We have GOT to hug this out! I can't just walk away from this experience without it." So we hugged more than once and we both got a little teary and we both recognized ourselves in each other and we both said "thank you"...and meant it.

That's my kind of closing that is really a beginning...for both of us.

I'm exhausted.

In the last three months, I have not only gone through the home buying process, I also assumed control of much of my aging father's life - his finances as well as his physical and emotional well being; I researched, found, and moved him into a senior community; I applied for a new job within my company and went through the most rigorous interview process of my life - three interviews and a writing assignment; I started said new job while still performing my old one two weeks ago working 60-hour weeks; and I packed up The Grotto in anticipation of moving to the new house which is, as yet, unnamed.

The movers are due to arrive tomorrow at 7 a.m.

I've neglected Denhac. I've neglected my friends. I've neglected the blog, the facebook, the G+, my blog feed. I feel disconnected and waves of loneliness. 

But I also feel something else. Accomplishment...pride...for what I've managed to make of my finances ever since I, three years ago, made the decision to take control of my financial life in a way I never had before. I feel creative in my work. I feel a deep compassion for my father - a man I'd had little contact with over the last decade, a man I resented, occasionally despised - a love, sympathy, and understanding for my father that I, perhaps, have never felt. I feel a deep humility and gratitude for the amazing Dayna who spent her entire day off today being a complete packing and human-equivalent-of-Xanax rock star. Dayna who also volunteered to come to the new house tomorrow to help me keep me sane. I feel spoiled by non-husband, Acr0nym, who came over to the new house this afternoon, a collection of goodies in tow, even though he was sick and stressed out.

This is it.

The light at the end of the tunnel of my crazy summer and the last night in The Grotto. Tomorrow I will sleep in a new bed in a new house that belongs to me. I can finally settle in, settle down.

Everything's coming up Milhouse.


Gaelyn said...

You worked very hard to achieve these goals and deserve all the good stuff. Plus the added of bonus of honoring your father. Sure hope you'll post some pics of the new house.

nakedjen said...

You really are full of wisdom. You are also full of the very best kinds of love. And blessed with truly amazing friends.i know this home will be th center of the Good Jane Universe. I can not wait to come wear my comfy pants and The Jane and experience the magic. xox

Graciewilde said...

Amazing! What a transformation you have experienced! Not just the home ownership piece (thought hat sounds so oool to have closed the deal in that fashion) but to connect with your dad and take care of him in the way that he needs. That's something of which to be proud and something that represents growth of the highest kind (IMHO anyway..).