Thursday, March 26, 2020

Alexa...What Time is It?

I'm having a hard time with time.

Sometimes, when I'm in the bathroom at the start of the day or the end of the day, I can't remember if I'm doing my nighttime routine or my morning routine.

In fairness, the only real significant differences between the two is whether the contacts are going in or coming out and whether or not I need to remove my makeup before I wash my face or if I can just wash my face.

Unless, of course, it's a shower night and then that's easier to remember although remembering whether or not it's a shower night is also part of the challenge.

And yes, I shower at night and no, I don't shower every night.

Before you get all EWWWW! That's gross!!! on me, you should know that it isn't good for your hair or your skin - especially in a dry climate like Colorado - to shower every day. At least, that's what the Mayo Clinic via the internet and my hair stylist tell me.

And I do wash the most important bits every morning. You know the bits.

Anyway!

I'm having a hard time with time.

And not just hour or day.

I was just outside on my patio and all of a sudden I couldn't remember what month it was or even what season. There are dead leaves on my honey locust tree that are left over from a freakishly early, cold start to autumn and the air is brisk and I was struck by confusion all of a sudden.

Is this October? Is it April yet? No. Still March. Just wrapping up week 2 of Work From Home.

Yesterday, our interwebs went down for about 30 minutes mid-morning. When we called Xfinity to report the outage we got a recording, "We are aware of the issue and working to resolve it. Estimated time to fix the issue is March 28."

WHAT?!?!

I freaked out.

Because my brain was thinking that it was March 18, not March 25, and 10 days with no way to access work or Instagram or Netflix's Tiger King was simply UNACCEPTABLE!1

But then I calmed down...a little...when I realized it wasn't 10 days but 3.

Although I'm not quite sure what 3 days is anymore. I'd count them in sleeps but I might nap and then I'd have to remember not to count the naps as sleeps and sometimes that's hard to remember too. So 3 days might feel like 6 or 7. Or it might not feel like days at all but just a few hours.

It didn't end up mattering though. Because Xfinity restored service 30 minutes later and we've been fine ever since.

That was yesterday, I think.2

Colorado's now officially under Stay at Home orders from the Governor as of 6 a.m. this morning.

Which is fine with me. I love being at home.

Except that I had to leave my home because I had a grocery order to pick up from the King Soopers at 11 a.m.

But then Scott from King Soopers called me at 10:45 to tell me they were a couple of hours behind and could I please come by at 1 p.m. instead? Sure thing, Scott. No sweat. There isn't much difference between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. in my current world.

So I left my house at 1 p.m. and went to the grocery. But when I called to have them bring out my order, a guy whose name was not Scott, told me my order wasn't done being picked. And I said, "OK! Should I wait or should I come back? What's your advice?"

And he said, "Could you just come back tomorrow?"

Which wasn't what I was expecting but I am supremely grateful for the grocery workers and know they are working their asses off for us and so I said, "Do you think if I came at 8 a.m. I could get my order?"

And Not Scott said, "That'll probably work."

Forgive me, Not Scott, but I'm not sure I have a lot of confidence in that answer.

So I'll go back - defying Stay at Home orders for the second day - and we'll see if I have better luck.

I'm pretty sure I have enough cheese to see me through until then.

I might need to set an alarm to help me remember to go though.

The Current State of the Cheese



1. I accidentally did a Zoom conference with my phone, forgetting to switch from data to wifi, so I'm currently at zero data remaining on my phone plan.

2. OMG! What if it wasn't 30 minutes?! What if it was actually 3 days and I didn't notice?!

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