Tuesday, December 22, 2009

One's Company

I've always thought I would be well-suited for solitary confinement in prison1 2.

I mean, I understand how most convicted felons would find this rather...er...confining and uh...not very pleasant. But me? I'm like all, you know, whatever. That's cool. Because, when push comes to shove, I'm awesome company for myself. I'm a great conversationalist, in fact. And I don't mind admitting I spend a rather alarming amount of time having conversations with myself...out loud. Ask my co-workers. They'll totally back me up on this one.

Plus, I have an imagination. And I like to mull things over. And I'm not scared of the answers. Or of being alone.

Because that's what sucks about solitary confinement for most people...the fear of being alone with no distraction from one's self.

I don't have that fear. I've never had it. Sure, sometimes I'm lonely. There's a difference. But even my earliest recollections seem to have that knowledge ingrained...

We are all of us alone. And everyone we surround ourselves with, all the things we do, are merely distractions from the fact that we are, indeed, alone.

The sooner we realize and accept this, the better able we are to live contentedly, to find ourselves, to be enough for ourselves, and to stop running after something or someone to make us feel less alone.

There is no less alone. There is only diversion. Preoccupation.

Of course, I kinda like the diversions too.

1: This does not mean I'm a misanthrope. I don't hate people. To the contrary, I generally like people...like being around people...despite their attempts to get me to feel otherwise.

2: I have no intention of going to prison, by the way. Not really my style. And, if I did go to prison, we all know I'd end up being somebody's Mary anyway and that'd work just fine for me too.


Anonymous said...

I love you Jane! And I am happy to be a diversion for you anytime! PJ

Diva said...

I'm going to bookmark this post for future reference when I have trouble explaining this particular life lesson to other - you've put it so well here. Thank you!