Wednesday, January 20, 2010


It seems as though I've always had a high level of empathic ability.

It affords me the ability to be a wonderful diplomat, mediator, teacher. A major reason why I landed the job I have now had nothing to do with the business skills I didn't have and everything to do with my ability to see the big picture - to think "globally1".

But I've not always been able to control it.

And that's a way bigger problem than you might realize.

Because it's hard enough to deal with my own feelings but when I can't tell what belongs to someone else and what belongs to me? There are chances for mistakes, for projecting, for zen sticks that do not apply to anyone but me, or for work I don't need to do.

Also, it's tiring to have someone else inhabiting me.

So I started working on controlling when and whose feelings I allowed to invade me. First, I had to block everyone out. Everyone except me of course. And then I had some tidying up to do once the doors were locked and the shades were drawn so I could strip down naked.

Once I'd gotten some clarity in my own spaces, only then did I begin to start the process of using my abilities with full knowledge and consent. I got to the point where I could deflect what I didn't want in my space with no conscious effort. I've not had an inhabitant in quite some time...

Until now.

It pisses me off a little because I wasn't ready for it...didn't see it coming frankly. So when it happened, I was completely unprepared, caught off guard, felt off balance.

Luckily, I still do know what's mine. And now that I'm aware it's happening and have the skills to explore it without leaving myself behind, I'm kind of excited about it.

Thus, I've begun re-reading Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson.

This is getting good.

1: Now that's another ticklish word if I ever heard one.

1 comment:

Diva said...

That book has been on my Amazon wish list for what seems like forever. I'd borrow it, but the school term is back on - maybe over Spring Break? I've got the "Cosmic Trigger" trilogy and the DVD of "Maybe Logic" if you want to trade out that week. *smile*