Thursday, September 02, 2010

Quite Possibly the Most Embarrassing Post I Will Ever Write

I am here to admit to you a deeply shameful secret I've been carrying around these last 20 years.

I, Jane, in my infinite wisdom, was a closet fan of Beverly Hills, 90210.



Don't judge me.

There is another reason - far, far worse - to judge me as it relates to 90210.

It's that, on the night of its debut, my roommate - at whom I was extremely angry - wanted to watch the second episode of the second season of Twin Peaks. And I got to the television first and, in a fit of passive aggressive teen angst, I made her sit through 90210...

Even though I secretly wanted to watch Twin Peaks.

And then I got hooked on stupid 90210 and watched faithfully for 4 seasons...after they graduated high school and it turned into a soap opera, and another, much better written and acted teen angsty drama crossed my radar...

My So-Called Life.

Go. Now. Go.



Again, don't judge me.

Anyone who ever watched this show and saw both Claire Danes and dreamy Jared Leto wouldn't dare.

Anyway!

So, today is 90210 day.

How's that, you ask?

It's 9.02.10.

And 90210 references have been all over the interwebz all day.

That got me to thinking about the age old question...Brenda or Kelly?

Now, I must admit, one of the reasons I got so deeply invested in this show, was because I thought Luke Perry was this cat's major meow1.

And during season 3 - when the love triangle between Brenda, Dylan, and Kelly was taking place, I was adamant in my desire to see Kelly victorious over Brenda.

Were she and Dylan slimy cheatballs?

Absolutely.

Did Kelly throw away a perfectly good friendship for some two-timing bad boy?

You betcha.

And yet...

Brenda sucked balls.

Granted, my opinion is colored from my dislike of Shannen Doherty - an actress I still cannot get behind in any acting she does - an opinion I've held since...*eyerolling*...Little House on the Prairie and, of course, Heathers.

But I personally thought that, even though Kelly's character was initially written as a shallow, snobby, spoiled stereotype, it was Brenda who was the shallow, snobby, spoiled brat of the bunch.

So there.

And I got my way.

My teen angsty heart was totally satisfied and I moved on to root for Jordan Catalano over Brian Krakow even though my nerd heart loved Brian and Jordan was also a slimy cheatball.

I dunno why except to say it was JORDAN CATALANO.

So there.

But I never forgot my love of Luke Perry - that early 90's bad boy cutie pie that he was.

And when I found out he was going to be on Oz, you totally know I watched intently...because a whole buncha bad boys this time in prison? Duh.

Until...

Until...

Oh my gawd, until there was full frontal nudity and I'm still cringing from the pain deep down inside my television lusty soul2.




Some things are better left to the imagination.



1: Oh my gawd I cannot believe I'm admitting this in my outloud voice.

2: This had nothing to do with the size or shape of his manliness. It was simply...ahem...I'm a 12-year-old inside and seeing the penis of a crush was like...ewwwwwwww!
Plus, there was that whole beard thing...and the weird southern accent thing, and, well, frankly, the whole bible thing. All adding up to one big...ew.

1 comment:

PATTY LEIDYS ZERO HOUR said...

ewwwwwwwwwww...
umm coff coff...yeah...
No I was a total "My so called life" freak.
Brenda pissed me off too much.

happy 9 02 10 !