11 Pet Peevery Lane

It's been awhile since we've taken a stroll down this particular lane.

And today, this lane is strewn with fallen autumn leaves, spooky bare-branched trees, howling ghouls, and the smell of apples...

Specifically MY apples, just purchased at the grocery store and tossed about willy nilly like a stack o' potatoes and are now bruised.

This is for you, Grocery Store Check Out People.

I do not like bruised apples, Sir or Ms.

I painstakingly search your bins for the best apples I can find because I particularly do not want any bruises on them. Call me kooky, if you'd like. It is probably just a quirk but biting into a big ol' brown, mealy bruised apple makes me want to, oh, say, vomit.

So when I take the time to thoroughly examine each piece of fruit, bagging them carefully so they don't thump down upon each other, and then reverently place them on your conveyor belt?

Please! For the love a christ, would you refrain from grabbing them carelessly, throwing them with a KAH-THWUMP upon the scale, and then tossing them haphazardly into the bottom of a waiting grocery bag perched on a metal stand?

Now, Grocery Store Check Out People, you have an extremely difficult job. I understand this, truly I do. You deal with 100's of crabby pants'd people day in and day out. You suffer from tendinitis, carpal tunnel, and probably lower back, knee, and hip pain from standing on your feet all day. I appreciate all that you do more than you know. As such, I try to go out of my way to greet you pleasantly, chit chat with you if you seem willing, and remember to say thank you and have a good day...even when you are clearly having a bad day.

But I can't imagine you like buying apples and coming home to find them bruised and broken either...do you?

So why? Why must you treat my treats in such an abusive way? They are delicate - like eggs. They cannot withstand this kind of pressure. They do not deserve such violation.

So please. Please, nice Grocery Store Check Out People. Please take care of my apples.

Thank you for your consideration.