Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Nice Guys Finish...


Not last. Not first. Not in the middle of the pack. Nice people just generally finish up where everyone else does...in the ground or, in my case, with a disco-balled skull hanging in Acr0nym's compound.

I'll freely admit I'm a sucker. Sometimes too nice. I bring out what I think is an anvil to hit someone over the head with and, as the Divatologist likes to say, it ends up being more of a velvet hammer. A little love tap.


I can't really think of anyone who would dispute that I'm nice. Maybe there are a few out there (like that one guy who keeps interrupting my lunch) but their opinion doesn't particularly matter. I know what goes on in my head, my heart, and how I try to be nice on a regular, daily basis.

I try to be a good person on all levels. I help out when asked, volunteer, donate money, give rides, lend an ear, a shoulder, a dime. I'd give you the shirt off my back if I thought it would fit. I give allowances and leeway, try to see situations from other perspectives, expect mistakes because good lord do I ever make mistakes myself.

And because I'm a good person, I attract other good people to me. I've got a lot of friends. And all of them, in their own ways, contribute just as much as I do, if not more...to help when and wherever they can. They aren't petty or vindictive. They aren't shit stirrers. They aren't disrespectful. They don't lie. They don't take sides.

By the same token, I attract The Others to me too...but they don't last long if they even get a chance to be a part of my life at all. They are the ones who flit about in my periphery, trying to get close to the energy source. However, I am, typically, an excellent judge of character and, I'll admit, in addition to being nice, I'm also kind of a snob when it comes to people with whom I want to associate. It's not that I don't like these people...it's that I just don't care. My energy's finite. I spend it on those who deserve it and have no desire to waste my time on people who don't.

When you're nice, people tend to think you're the path of least resistance. Meaning, it's easier to hurt or disappoint the nice people, because if there are consequences to actions, they won't be drastic or particularly harsh. Nice people accept apologies and everything's golden again...right?

Not so much.

Good people are not doormats. We'll take a lot from people we care about. But there comes a time when a clearly laid out consequence is put before a choice. Act too late and it makes no difference. Apologies can be issued to no avail. Once the consequence has been put into motion anything and everything is too little too late.

I didn't make the rules. I didn't make the choice. I set the boundary.

And I'm done.

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