Sunday, December 11, 2011

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor...

Unless, of course, tonight, you are Owen's neighbor.

Awesome Sauce Owen

Tomorrow is Owen's 42nd birthday - his year to explore the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything! To celebrate, Peej put together a little soirée in honor of his special day - complete with her Sicilian grandmother's magic marinara sauce, Owen's own magic garlic bread, my Religious Experience chocolate cake (no really, it is a religious experience), and just shy of a case of wine.

While the usual Ducks and Puppies suspects were mostly missing, there were a number of card-carrying colorful characters to make up for it...Peej and her own Mr. S, the Divatologist and the Maestro, Zero Hour!, Acr0nym, and even a rare - and most appreciated - appearance by Inverted Sky.

As you should well imagine then, the night was full of laughter! The carbs and wine and geekery references flowed copiously and everyone enjoyed themselves thoroughly.

Now, you should know, Owen is the King of Great Gifts. Every year, his brilliance in selecting and/or creating just the right gift for birthdays and Christmas are eerily and fabulously spot on.

Witness my gift from Owen last year:

That's right. A "Big Ass Cuppa Joe" mug complete with illustrations taken from this very blog!

See? How can I even begin to compete with such awesome sauce? Answer? I can't.

Because, last year, I thought I had him when I did my shopping for him at Owen is, after all, full of the finest geekery and in so many different ways. Unfortunately, what happens when you shop at for a geek is that you end up buying REALLY COOL STUFF that said geek already owns. *sigh* Birthday/Christmas Jane Fail.

This year though, this year I KNEW I had him. I just knew it! The birthday gift I got for him wasn't even on his radar. There was NO WAY it even could be! It was Just. That. Good.

So, after supper and cake, when we were all sitting about jibber jabbering and the Divatologist brought up Def Leppard and the conversation took a turn (for the worse) toward 80's hair band music, I knew it was time...time for the Big Reveal. I couldn't have asked for a better segue (and not the motorized kind you ride around on if you're Gob from Arrested Development).

Not this kind of segue (courtesy of

I quietly got up, retrieved his gift bag (I don't wrap) from the counter, handed it to him and said, "Please. You must open this now. There will never again be another perfect time such as this."

And he did. He dug around, finding the giant box of Willy Wonka Bottle Caps candy first (don't discount the Bottle Caps) before discovering what I was anxious for him to find.

The Book.

Specifically, THIS book:

That's right. You heard me.

You see, not only is Owen of a certain 80's coming-of-age age but he is also a book geek and a rekkid geek. This. Book. Was. Perfect.

Filled to brimming it is with the lyrics of every horrendous 80's Love Gone Bad song...AS POETRY! WAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA!!!

He loved it.

Everyone in the room loved it.

When the Divatologist said, "PEABO BRYSON?! Who the hell even knows who Peabo Bryson is?!" and we all (including those of the Special Snowflake generation) sheepishly raised our hands, I knew this was THE hit of all hits.

The best part was when we decided that this was the kind of book best read at 3 a.m....curled into the fetal position, crying, and eating Bottle Caps.

The second best part was when the book got passed around between Owen reading selections as William Shatner, Diva reading as a Shakespearean actor, and the Maestro reading as...well...the Maestro...the Maestro sitting in front of a roaring fireplace donning a smoking jacket and reading glasses, smoking a (bubble) pipe.

Seriously. If ever my cheeks hurt from laughing quite this much, I don't recall it.

Win! \0/

U can't touch this.


Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor...unless your neighbor is Owen and you are of a certain age. And then? Be jealous. For Owen is the Owner of the best book of all time.


Teresa said...

What an incredible find. I can see the scene in my mind now........

Gaelyn said...

You truly out did yourself. Hope Owen is appreciative.

Just Jane said...

Gaelyn: Owen is MOST appreciative. His comment: "Jane you have set a new standard for birthday related hilarity. I think it needs to become a tradition that from now on we replace the singing of Happy Birthday with a reading from THE BOOK!"

cdnkaro said...

hahahahaha!!! I want it!

Anonymous said...

Perfection. Last year's mug, the book, the gathering of such clearly great friends, and even the menu. I'm not even a little religious, but I might be converted by cake.

Anonymous said...

"If ever I'm in your arms again..." LOVED it!! Thank you, Jane, for that walk down memory lane for me, and a reminder today of how much I LOVE my husband. You awakened "romance" today. :)

I'm glad you guys had a wunderbar time!

Lucy said...

It sounds like you knocked it out of the park!
Oh, gosh I was laughing when you described that scene and then I played the videos and transported myself back to High School and laughed some more!

Masked Mom said...

Must. Have. That. Book.

PS--Movie-size box of Bottle Caps totally in my van right now.

Just Jane said...

Word Nerd: If you like chocolate, you won't stand a chance against this cake ;).

Nini: YAY for Romance!

Simply Frances said...

Jane I just checked out your profile pic - you are so pretty. Many many more Happy B-day to my fellow 12-12 Sagg Owen.
Major Love and Light coming at you from New York

Diva said...

I laughed so hard I cried, then I laughed some more. THANK YOU for finding that oh-so-perfect gift and THANK YOU for making him open it at the oh-so-perfect moment..... the hilarity that ensued cured a few holiday ills here.

I even put out a tree last night.

I know, right?!