Several months ago, a friend of mine, without comment, sent me a link to a blog.
Based on the blog name, I knew it was NSFW but I had no idea what it might contain or why it had been passed on to me. At least, not until I got home that evening and began reading through some of the entries.
The blog, which shall remain nameless here, was an account of the author's *ahem* escapades with various people...in detail...along with her own psychoanalysis of each partner and other sundry content. And, as I read, it became abundantly clear why the link had been sent to me. The people the author was discussing, at least some of them, were clearly people I knew. Even though she did not name any names, they were easily identifiable by the descriptions she so liberally (thoughtlessly) disclosed.
Now, certainly there are people out there writing about their own escapades and shenanigans on a public forum and I don't generally take issue with the practice as long as there is clear warning prior to entering the site that it is not safe for work or children. I particularly appreciate it when the author goes to great lengths not to disclose personal identifiers about themselves so as not to accidentally out someone else.
And, while it isn't my bag to share locker room stories with the masses, to each his own. It's the interweb. It happens.
However, when I inquired about how in the world my friend had stumbled across this blog, her answer shocked me. She said, "Oh well, [redacted] is posting all the links to her entries on Facebook."
I was highly irritated.
Not only was the woman posting intimate, easily identifiable information about private, sometimes unflattering, and potentially embarrassing events - some that may have had severe negative consequences for the other parties, she was making sure everyone on her friend list was fully aware of what she'd been getting up to and with whom...without their knowledge or consent.
I wish I was kidding.
I've not been able to look this woman in the face or exchange polite words with her since. She has lost all my respect and I will not associate myself with someone who has such little regard for other people or their privacy. She cares nothing about consent - something I firmly believe extends far outside the reaches of the bedroom.
Last week then, in another internet forum - not quite as public as Facebook but certainly public enough - another woman disclosed some shenanigans about another person who is quite well known to the forum at large...except this time, she named names.
Disgusted does not even begin to describe what I'm thinking or feeling.
What in hell is wrong with these people?!
Have they never heard of discretion, respect, consent?!
There is no excuse for this in my book. Whether the motivation was to bolster their own reputation/self-esteem or publicly destroy the reputation of someone else, was an attempt to gain some credibility, or was merely a drastically stupid lapse in good judgment...
They failed. Miserably.
All that they've accomplished, as far as I'm concerned, is to make themselves a laughing stalk and someone I have no desire to know. They've certainly lost a power advocate, a potential friend and ally in me.
I have been successfully unsubscribed.