Saturday, May 12, 2012


Several months ago, a friend of mine, without comment, sent me a link to a blog.

Based on the blog name, I knew it was NSFW but I had no idea what it might contain or why it had been passed on to me. At least, not until I got home that evening and began reading through some of the entries.

The blog, which shall remain nameless here, was an account of the author's *ahem* escapades with various detail...along with her own psychoanalysis of each partner and other sundry content. And, as I read, it became abundantly clear why the link had been sent to me. The people the author was discussing, at least some of them, were clearly people I knew. Even though she did not name any names, they were easily identifiable by the descriptions she so liberally (thoughtlessly) disclosed.


Now, certainly there are people out there writing about their own escapades and shenanigans on a public forum and I don't generally take issue with the practice as long as there is clear warning prior to entering the site that it is not safe for work or children. I particularly appreciate it when the author goes to great lengths not to disclose personal identifiers about themselves so as not to accidentally out someone else. 

And, while it isn't my bag to share locker room stories with the masses, to each his own. It's the interweb. It happens.

However, when I inquired about how in the world my friend had stumbled across this blog, her answer shocked me. She said, "Oh well, [redacted] is posting all the links to her entries on Facebook."


I was highly irritated.

Not only was the woman posting intimate, easily identifiable information about private, sometimes unflattering, and potentially embarrassing events - some that may have had severe negative consequences for the other parties, she was making sure everyone on her friend list was fully aware of what she'd been getting up to and with whom...without their knowledge or consent.

I wish I was kidding.

I've not been able to look this woman in the face or exchange polite words with her since. She has lost all my respect and I will not associate myself with someone who has such little regard for other people or their privacy. She cares nothing about consent - something I firmly believe extends far outside the reaches of the bedroom. 

Last week then, in another internet forum - not quite as public as Facebook but certainly public enough - another woman disclosed some shenanigans about another person who is quite well known to the forum at large...except this time, she named names.

Disgusted does not even begin to describe what I'm thinking or feeling.

What in hell is wrong with these people?!

Have they never heard of discretion, respect, consent?!


Apparently not.

There is no excuse for this in my book. Whether the motivation was to bolster their own reputation/self-esteem or publicly destroy the reputation of someone else, was an attempt to gain some credibility, or was merely a drastically stupid lapse in good judgment...

They failed. Miserably.

All that they've accomplished, as far as I'm concerned, is to make themselves a laughing stalk and someone I have no desire to know. They've certainly lost a power advocate, a potential friend and ally in me.

I have been successfully unsubscribed.


Margi said...

Ouch. Personally, and easily, identifiable information is not something that should be shared without consent.

And, it's a reminder that everything is public eventually. Ouch.

Anonymous said...

What M said. Big, big ouch.

danneromero said...

and the people she's talking about don't know? that she's outing them? wow.. amazing she has no clue how immature she sounds (or does and doesn't give a hoot)... GAH! is right!

Gaelyn said...

I'd say unsubscribing was the best move. GAH!

Geekin' Hard said...

Keepin' it classy. I wonder how she'd feel if they returned the favour.

alienbody said...

Wowzers...calling out such private things is the mark of a cruel and spiteful person. Shame shame on them.

cdnkaro said...

Agreed! As my mother always taught me, treat others as you want them to treat you. Karma's a bitch.

Graciewilde said...

A person who stoops to this kind of behavior must be terribly insecure. She is desperately in need of attention and somehow must believe that this immature and unkind behavior is "cool". Sadly, she is hurting other people in her twisted grasp at coolness - she stands to lose a lot here. I wonder if she even knows that. I doubt it.

a.eye said...

This is what happens when people think their lives are like a reality tv show!

Lucy said...

I am going to play devil's advocate for just one moment because I screwed up when I first started blogging and made the same mistake. I ask what is the line? Again, I admit I made the same mistake a while back. It was not sexual in nature but I did discuss personal stuff on my blog,it was factual and my perspective. I did not use names but if you knew me you could figure out the players. I should have been careful and more considerate. I have since stopped and will never do it again. The information I discussed anyone could easily find out but I still feel bad in the end. I have forever ruined an important relationship in my life and take full responsibility for the undoing of it. Now,the web,it is kind of like gossiping in larger arena. It is funny, I could have said everything I said on my blog to 25 different friends and they would have repeated it to another 10 and so on but the difference it would have all been viewed as 'behind the back' and maybe the people being gossiped about would have never found out or maybe they would but to be honest I never thought they were going to find my blog either, kind of like gossiping, you take a chance of hoping who you tell is really going to keep it to themselves or not repeat to the 'wrong' person. But, now the Social Media avenues have opened up the chance that the gossiping will be found out because the arena is larger, someone knows someone and then before you know it BOOM! I was wrong and have stopped and won't do it again but it is funny my readers miss my life stories and my venting, funny what readers like?
Oh,and on another note, in today's world we have lost all privacy I can't get over what bloggers post, for example,photos. People snap photos of strangers all the time and post them and then write entire posts!! I won't do that at all. Anyway, social media and cell phones have changed the world! And privacy is part of the change. It is scary.
I guess I should have written a blog post and not such a lengthy comment, my apologies.

Masked Mom said...

I am fascinated and sometimes appalled by what people are willing to post about themselves and especially others both by name and anonymously. I also often wondered if I have inadvertently offended or appalled anyone myself. I think common sense and being aware of the dangers goes a long way. The people you're talking about have shown a blatant disregard for other people. Unsubscribing sounds like the best defense. ;)

Bon said...

I am so very worried that my extremely laid-back, conversational method of blog writing might disclose information about somebody inadvertently.

I always try to make sure that I have permission and/or am referencing something public if I link to someone else's site.

I cannot even begin to understand how someone could be rude. :/

Dating Sites Ireland said...

It seems that people, who act like this, don't have their private life. If they had, they wouldn't have time for posting information about other people