I suspect I'm about to bungle this up pretty badly. Just know there is eloquence in my heart even if my words don't reflect it.
I knew it was her the moment I saw her standing at the curb of the east terminal passenger pickup area. The tiny dynamo with platinum and pink hair, dressed in all black, could be no one else but Naked Jen. Never mind the fact that she was the only faerie standing there - let alone the only faerie chattering away on her cell phone (to me) - one can't help but know Naked Jen on sight. I'm not sure either of us remembered to hang up our call before I was out of the car and hugging her with all my might.
From that moment on Thursday until just a few hours ago when Acr0nym and I deposited her nearly where I found her, I was spellbound...suspended in liminal time, immersed in love and glitter.
She says she flew in from Salt Lake on an airplane but, right now, I cannot confirm this. A wee small part of me thinks perhaps she actually came in on her own faerie wings. She is just that magical.
She came here on the premise of going to the Amanda Palmer & the Grand Theft Orchestra concert with me. Me. Someone she knew, through our respective blogs, but had never met. She left with both of us feeling as though the concert - that extraordinary and wonderful concert, worth every penny - was secondary to what transpired. Not just between us but...but...but...
But let me back up.
When Jen and I were first talking about going to the concert via a thread on Facebook, Dayna, that beloved friend of mine I've known since I was 16...the one who will, when you're on a crying jag, "bring you a nice cheese and a Bota Box full of wine and drink it with you glass for glass til it's gone or until you're both passed out cold and covered in cats" piped up and asked, since she was hoping to be here on a visit from Seattle then anyway, if she might join us. And I, of course, said, "YES!!!!!"
So Dayna was here this weekend too.
And, from the moment I thrust these two upon each other on Friday morning - because I wasn't about to forsake one for the other, magic happened. Not only did they like each other and make pleasantries, there was an immediate, beautiful connection between them. One that, if I were someone entirely different, I would feel threatened by...I would covet. As it is, I am beyond thrilled that they found each other and already love each other as much as they do.
And they do love each other. Of this, I am certain. I am so glad.
|Jane, Brad, Dayna, and Faerie Jen at Amanda Fucking Palmer (not pictured beloved Hardy)|
The rest of the extended weekend was a whirlwind of nearly that kind of love. I introduced Jen to just a few folks I love and, of course, she fit right in while standing out. Every time I told her she was about to meet another friend of mine, I would preface the introduction privately to her like this..."You're going to get to meet [insert name here]! And this person sparkles. They are extraordinary and I love them! I'm so excited to introduce you!"
Each one she embraced and loved and recognized as kindred.
Friday night, I laughed, quietly, shoulders shaking, to myself as I laid in bed. I was, even then, starting to remember that which I'd taken for granted and something Jen already knew. My community - my family - is extraordinary. My community is unspeakably gorgeous, talented, delightful, lovable...even to those we've just met.
It's rare, you know. To invite someone you've never met face to face (no matter how well you think you might know them) into your life, your home, your being...to introduce them - a person you've never met - and have them take a look around and then just settle in, make themselves comfortable, like Naked Jen did in mine, and find a family...love...home. A home she wants to visit again and again. The home I've created for myself because I so desperately needed a home.
But that's precisely what she did.
She immersed herself in my life for just a few days, met just a handful of people I am so grateful for, and then, having recognized their immeasurable value said, "You do know that your friends and their glitter are a testament to you and YOUR love?"
I love each of them because they are so very beautiful. I'd never given any consideration at all to the fact they might love me back. I just thought I was lucky that they tolerate me, touch me appropriately...I thought that sometimes I was a fraud.
Because why would they love me? I'm just...me...Just Jane...in my infinite wisdom.
But Naked Jen? She kinda set me straight.
As an outside observer, an objective third party, a radical faerie, she saw what I can't usually see.
I am loved. Immeasurably. And this community that surrounds me? Embraces me? Loves me (sometimes just as fiercely) back? Is mine because I am me...just me...in my infinite wisdom.
And that is powerful magic.
Magic I, without even realizing it, needed. I'd tried to take care of everyone else without knowing I needed care too. Until she came. And now, even though a piece of my heart flew back with Jen this afternoon, my heart is full to brimming with that magic and love.
I selfishly wish she was still here.
I am unselfishly glad she is home with her Salty Cyclist and her 'lil salty.
And I am selfishly glad she'll be back.