Monday, January 02, 2012

Thank You, 2011

I'm not gonna lie.

2011 was not my best year. Not by a long shot.

Going back and reading last year's annual New Year post yesterday afternoon, in hindsight, I was acutely aware of my mental state as 2010 flowed in 2011. I remembered the quiet desperation I was feeling - hoping for a happy resolution to an angst-ridden situation. I wanted to be positive, hoped that by stating I was feeling positive I would get what I wanted.

Instead, I carried that angst into the new year and allowed it to lead me by the nose throughout the subsequent months.

I'm not going to rehash it - that angst, the sadness, the guilt, the heartache. I look back only to my birthday last year - also not up there in what I'd like to consider top-notch birthday fare - as a good reminder to myself. Low expectations are the best way to manage pre-determined resentments.

I don't want to look back on the awful of 2011. There is nothing to be gained by reliving those moments in which I wallowed in unsatisfying self-pity. I've done enough wallowing there over the last 12 months. I'm feeling surprisingly good and strong, hopeful (no really!), and I have big plans for myself in 2012. So, instead, I'm going to point out the great about 2011!

New Year's Day last year was spent in the company of two excellent friends over cinnamon rolls at Johnson's Corner.

In February, Acr0nym promised me, in the event of his untimely death, he'd leave me his head. Definitely a sign of a true BFF.

In March, a special person at the time brought me sunflowers when I was desperately sick...

And later in March, I got back in touch after a decade with a person who means a lot to me.

Let's just skip over April, shall we?

In May though! Yay May! Because May is when the Divine Dayna came for a visit and we celebrated by eating bacon flights and drinking bottomless mimosas.

Also? Let's take a running leap right over June.

In July, I started to take charge of my health again. Subsequently, I visited the eye doctor for a long overdue check up and discovered they have amazing new technology that will take digital pictures of the inside of an eye. A digital picture that can then be e-mailed to the patient. I became the proud owner of said photographs!

August brought another wonderful visit from the Divine Dayna (TWICE in a year!). It also brought a present from Acr0nym's annual trip to Las Vegas for Defcon. It brought a trip to The Wonder Tower and it also brought a decision between Acr0nym and me to take a life-changing road trip together.

Wonder Tower - Genoa, CO

September was the American Gods and Roadside Attractions road trip - an experience to remember over the course of a lifetime.

September also gave us the Nerd Bar Crawl for Spux's birthday.

October brought fun with Halloween costumes! Especially Spux's Nyan Cat costume...

November was the month of NaBloPoMo and a return to daily blogging as well as an entry that received more hits and more attention than anything I'd written before or since. It brought to me a blogging community and a community of new readers I didn't know existed. It brought me more gratitude and hope for my writing than I thought I had. It brought an entirely new meaning to the last post I wrote for #reverb10 about community.

Additionally, November was also the month of Beaujolais Nouveau Day and the 4th Annual Grotto Thanksgiving...two wonderful evenings of entertaining my lovely friends in my home.

Turns out, December was chock so incredibly full of amazing things! I can't even pick just a few. Glancing back through December's entries it's no wonder I've got this renewed enthusiasm for life! There was perhaps the best gift I've ever given, and a new perspective on family, there was more time with great friends, and brunch. There was the realization I'd paid off $5000 in debt over the course of the year with the added bonus of knowing I would be free from debt in just one more year.

And there was New Year's Eve - such a great night - spent at two different small parties and where I finally FINALLY, for the first time in my life, had enough self-confidence to get up and sing karaoke.

Turns out? Karaoke is stupid fun. Way more fun than I would have ever expected. And, even though I screwed up lyrics and notes A LOT, everyone laughed and cheered along with me.

So, I ended 2011 with the knowledge - revealed to me in more ways than one and on several occasions - that I am perfectly imperfect and that people love me because of my imperfections rather than in spite of them.

Thank you, 2011. For your lessons, yes, and especially for ending so well.

2012 Come Hither


Gaelyn said...

It took 2011 to bring you to 2012.

Lucy said...

Sometimes it is hard to focus on all our blessings and we get caught up in what is bring us down! Way to find your joy and it is a great way to start the new year!!

Happy New Year!! AND, here is to a 2012 being an even better Year than 2011!!!

Unknown said...

Jane, the power of your pen has me crying.
I'm so glad we met.
Let's keep writing... that's all I can say for now.
Perfectly imperfect, and wow.

cdnkaro said...

I love your 'come hither' look for the New Year! Also, do you realize that you rarely post pictures of yourself (at least ones where your readers can clearly see you)? You are very beautiful, both inside and out. And the fact that you are beginning the New Year with several pictures of yourself leads me to believe that you are confident in your positive views:) All the best for 2012, Jane! *raises glass*

Just Jane said...

Thank you, cdnkaro. And Happy new Year! You're right, I don't post a lot of pictures of me. I don't think of myself as particularly photogenic and get self-conscious. But I read a blog entry the other day (I can't remember by whom) talking about how important it was to let ourselves be in pictures no matter how terrible we think we look and so I'm trying to be more willing to be photographed.

Anonymous said...

This was not my best year either, Jane. In fact, my last 13 years have not been my best. LOL! I am honestly shaking at what this year, 2012, holds for us. Sigh! But I am trying to keep my chin up and hopes high, still waiting for my best to happen. And I wish the very same for you, my friend. :)


alienbody said...

Love the year in review. There are months I'd like to skip as well, but...for moi...twas a good year. The American God's road trip still has me green - neon glowy green - with envy. The House on the Rock...I must see it some day...must. Although...maybe not the room full of dolls or anything with clowns...

And, I think you are one of the most fabulous writers...I love reading you.

Masked Mom said...

Here's to an amazing 2012! The very end of 2011 was significantly better here, too so I'm pretty hopeful myself. ;)